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Letas just confront this fact right away: Youall never get in. Seriously. E is the black AmEx of gyms in Manhattan, and even if the execs at Equinox did mess up and send Halle Berryas invite to you, the membership is roughly the price of a new low-end Saab. And what, exactly, does that membership entail? Aside from the Pentagon-esque retina scanner at the entrance, we underlings may never know.