Eminem's "Crack a Bottle" Video: Your Daily Reminder of the Boring Things That Go On In This Man's Head

One advantage to pop culture splintering into a million Twittered shards is that we no longer frequently experience moments when some sort of event--like, say, a grueling new Eminem album--takes over pretty much every available distribution channel and public space and then just loiters there for months and months. But this grueling new Eminem album is in fact not going away. At all. It's been a mere three weeks since Relapse came out, but it feels like months, or even years. At this point Eminem's neo-deranged psyche is so familiar this new video for "Crack a Bottle" might as well have arrived last night in the form of some foggy collective dream inflicted on all of America. What's Eminem's verse about, visually? Being stuck in a room, going crazy, with a little multiple personality disorder thrown in. What does the inside of Dr. Dre's brain look like? Tattooed Mexicans, fly girls getting tattoos. 50 Cent? Video chicks making it rain, then making out. That they all have tremendous amounts of money means they can inflict this psychologically vacant tedium on the rest of us until the end of time, apparently.

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