"I Also Accidentally Went To The Bathroom In My Pants": Part Two Of The Andrew W.K. Childhood Crush/Restraining Order Story

So a week ago The Guardian published a long, lurid account of professional party philosopher Andrew W.K.'s awkward teenage years, wherein he fell in love and wrote his crush a mortifying love song called "My Destiny" that got him slapped with a restraining order. Brace yourself for the sequel, featuring another song (called "I Want to Kill"), a partial redemption, and, yes, some ill-timed pants-defiling. My favorite part might be "I Want to Kill," actually. Sample lyrics:

Kill Kill I Want To Kill Kill I Want To Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill I Want To Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill

(Scream)(Ow!)

They've got the MP3 up, actually, but I think I'll pass. Anyway, post-restraining order, after sorting out some juvenile legal trouble ("I had impersonated a local Michigan law-firm and wrote a fake letter on behalf of the underground cartoonist, Robert Crumb, posing as his lawyer") (????!!!!!!), Andrew transforms into minor pop phenomenon Andrew W.K. His illicit teenage love shows up at a show in Cleveland. There is a tentative reconciliation aboard his tour bus. And then, well, yeah. The Farrelly Brothers outta be optioning this whole saga for a movie any time now. To repeat: yikes.

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