Justin Bieber Dies On TV, Millions Of Girls' Hearts Break

Justin Bieber Dies On TV, Millions Of Girls' Hearts Break

Oh dear. Here we have Justin Bieber, shot and killed in a police face-off, ending his multi-episode CSI run as Jason McCann and sending waves of fear and anger through his devoted fandom. During last night's episode, Justin's troubled character was caught setting a bomb by Detective Stokes and his team. It seemed like he was ready to surrender, but at the last moment he pulled out a gun and fired the first shot. Obviously the scene didn't end well. Millions of teenage girls slumped off to bed to dream away the suggestion of mortality in their pop-god:

Lucky for them, this particular nightmare was just another procedural-drama death and the real Justin Bieber is just fine. It's probably a healthy test-run, though, because one day it will be true! Probably symbolically before literally, and almost definitely not in a police shoot-off, but gone nonetheless. And so we hope that as fans watched Justin fall to the ground, they were able to imagine a future when his twitter stream is quiet and they can be free. Sometimes we dread the very thing we need the most.


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