Overheard at 4Knots Music Festival
Music festivals are great days to hear some wonderfully absurd and life-altering shit, and 4Knots was no exception. But we're not talking about music, we're talking about you. The most vibrant of verbal characters came out loud and proud (but mostly really, really loud) this weekend to drop lots of language gems on the world. Here are some that we were lucky enough to catch in our satchel.
"Every moment is an aerobic opportunity."
"Your Croatian friends blew it today."
"Have you even left the boat?"
"It's a little ditty about gentrification. Something New York City knows a lot about." - Fat Tony
"Have you seen the one where they pulled the cockroach out of Lady Gaga's pussy?"
"I'm drunk!" - everyone on the VIP boat.
"I don't know this band, but I heard they do a lot of coke so I'll stick around."
"Apparently the VIP badges also came with bitch ass masks."
"Everyone who rode a Citi Bike here should have to walk back home."
"That cell phone charging station just saved my entire life."
"She just told me that only one of the soap dispensers in the mall bathroom works so don't hold any lady parts today, bro."
"Kurt Vile's hair is more majestic than a unicorn's mane."
"If Titanic had more than that one sad string quartet the end of the movie would've been funner."
"There are so many cute babies and dogs and I honestly don't know who I'd try to save first if we all had to swim for our lives."
"Bitch looks like a cyclops with that camera on her head."
"There's a difference between a coke-head and a COKE-head. Stay away from the COKE-heads."
"Yo! The girl who the dude on the VIP boat accidentally pee'd on got to go on the VIP boat for free. I wonder if the girl in the R. Kelly video got anything for free."
"He has a TATTOO of a compact cassette. That's so much doper than my iPhone case."
"I think I'm drunk enough that I now understand every movie role Johnny Depp has ever taken and why."
"You deserve a Purple Heart for all the drunk people you've helped today."
"I can't tell if they're models or if they have scoliosis and bad eyesight."
"I've never seen so many hipsters who don't think they're hipsters in my life."
"Hey so my Bosnian friend is basically in love with you. Are you into Bosnians? Please say you're into Bosnians."
"I don't know if they're Playboy Bunnies or Disney Princesses but I want to marry them all anyway."
"Too many people here look like my dad."
"Weight Watchers mobile app won't let me add 'Mosh Pitting' to my exercise points!"
"It's been 10 minutes and I still can't tell if she's crashing the stage or in the band."
"Hey can you smell my fart or does it just seem like there's a lot of seaweed around here?"
"I wish the spray-on tattoo stand was a real tattoo stand. I love watching people make mistakes. Spray-on tattoos are like, the dry-humping of mistakes. So borrrrriiiiinnnngggg."
"At first I was like "YO POTATO CHIPS AND GREEN GOO ON A HOT DOG WHAT THE FUCK!?' but then I put it in my mouth and yes."
"Imma need security's paycheck for the night -- a couple hundred dollars!" - Lil B
"Hey. Hello? Yeah. The hot dog stand is right next to the phone-charging stand so I think I'll just be here for the next few years or so."
"I'm trying so hard to follow the smell of weed but my nose is fucking confused. I feel like a compass at the North Pole or Miley Cyrus."
"There are toddlers here with doper headphones than me."
"It's all laid back until it's not laid back."
"If I don't get a new profile picture out of today I will be DEV-UH-STATED."
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