PLUG Awards: The Nominees You Didn't See

PLUG Awards: The Nominees You Didn't See

Tonight, the PLUG 2008 Independent Music Awards will take place at Terminal 5, honoring winners in categories from Album of the Year to Zine of the Year. Coincidentally, an internal memo circulated among PLUG Cartel members just landed in Sound of the City's inbox, regarding "FWD: FWD: FWD: A LIST OF NOMINEES WE SHOULD REALLY INCLUDE BECAUSE IT'D BE AMUSING, LOL." It's posted below in entirety. Think you'll see why these never went past the FWD: FWD: FWD stage.

BLACK BAND OF THE YEAR

Black Angels Black Dice Black Kids Black Lips Black Moth Super Rainbow Black Rebel Motorcycle Club The Black Swans Crippled Black Phoenix The Blipster Express

LOFT-SHOW POWER-DUO OF THE YEAR

Best Fwends The DeathSet High Places Japanther Lightning Bolt Matt & Kim Maura & Jess No Age U$AI$AMONSTER Joly from Punkcast.com and His Videocamera

REASON YOU HATE VAMPIRE WEEKEND OF THE YEAR

They plan field trips to LaCoste They wear dog-embroidered sweaters They namedrop Louis Vuitton They are one-trick show-ponies You heard that the chandelier on their album cover is from an elitist Columbia fraternity that only prep-school kids can get into You saw bassist Chris Baio making out with a disproportionately hot girl outside the NorthSide car service on Bedford Ave and it's just not fair They remind you of all those smug assholes you knew in college They suck

REASON YOU LOVE VAMPIRE WEEKEND OF THE YEAR

You once went to Cape Cod and were really bored too Your closet is full of dog-embroidered sweaters They namedrop Lil' Jon too—so lay off, classwarfaring honkeys They play their instruments really well Carrie Brownstein likes the song "A-Punk" The drummer is hot Ezra Koenig taught you about condoms Ezra Koenig sings "Fuck the bears in Provincetown" in the song "Walcott" and you're a homophobe

[MORE BELOW]

BLOG COMMENTER OF YEAR

Jayson Greene Ned Raggett Anonymous 11:51 nyctaper anon 4:13 Dickdogfood Anybody who rates a song with the poo symbol on Paper Thin Walls

PITCHFORK WRITER NAMED AFTER THE CANONICAL GOSPELS OF THE YEAR

Marc Hogan Marc Masters Mark Pytlik Mark Richardson Matt LeMay Matthew Murphy Matthew Solarski Nitsuh AbebeLuke

SURPRISE SEX SYMBOL OF THE YEAR

Les Savy Fav frontman Tim Harrington Tay Zonday Pylon frontwoman Vanessa Briscoe Hay Dan Deacon Robert Wyatt Fucked Up frontman Pink Eye Smoosh Bradford Cox, who is quite adorable, so don't even think this is a joke at his expense

TIM HARRINGTON ONSTAGE ANTIC OF THE YEAR

Picking out his own belly-button lint and then licking it Hanging upside-down from the Bowery Ballroom balcony Drinking soap-bubble mix out of the jar Using a Corona bottle as a spurting phallus Getting people to Sharpie-tattoo his naked torso Pulling his wife out of the crowd and making out with her in the middle of a song Pulling an unsuspecting VBS.tv cameraman out from backstage and making out with him in the middle of a song Somehow managing still to be married and nominated for the sex symbol category despite all this

TODD P SHOW OF THE YEAR

Black Lips, Silent Barn, New Year's Eve 2007 Lightning Bolt, Third Ward, Saturday March 24, 2007 Deerhunter, Silent Barn (BRO JOB SHOW), April 27, 2007 Ms. Bea's back-porch shows during SXSW 2007 Roosevelt Island Acoustic BBQ with Vampire Weekend, Dirty Projectors, Aa on Father's Day 2007 Matt & Kim, 261 Moore Street, June 22, 2007 The ones where everybody smelled like shit

OLD-SCHOOL DAN DEACON SONG TITLE OF THE YEAR

"Breast Cake Penis Sleeve" "Fishy Wishy Foo Foo" "My Own Face Is F Word" "People Are Awesome These Days" "I'm So Gay With The Boner" "All Wet And No Boner" "Shit Slowly Applied On Cock Parts" "I Have AIDS"

Tonight the the PLUG 2008 Independent Music Awards will take place at Terminal 5, hosted by Patton Oswalt with performances by Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds, St. Vincent, Dizzee Rascal, José Gonzalez, The Forms, DiVinci, and guest DJ Sally Shapiro.


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