Someone Has Written A Song Called "Kill Harvilla." Here Are The Lyrics.
Rhett Miller, whose name has the misfortune of rhyming with mine
I knew this day would come. Today via mass email I learned that a piqued local musician -- aliases include CXB, Touching You, and many other charming handles deployed in emails I've been idly skimming for nearly five years -- has written a charming ditty titled "Kill Harvilla," providing both the lyrics and the instrumental MP3. Against my better judgment, I have provided both below, taking the liberty of marking with asterisks those lines I consider to be falsehoods.
WHAT? HARVILLA PROMOTED ANOTHER MILLIONAIRE?
WHAT? HE PRETENDS TO LIKE GRIZZLY BEAR?
WHAT? HE PRAISES HERCULES AND LOVE AFFAIR?
WHAT? HE PRAISES HELOISE & THE SAVIOR FARE??**
WHAT ?? HE SHILLED FOR THE CORPORATIONS AGAIN? WHAT?? HE SOLD OUT EVERYONE OF HIS FRIENDS? WHAT?? ANOTHER LOUSY ACT HE PURPORTS TO RECOMMEND? WHAT?? HE'S ON THE BANDWAGON OF ANOTHER TREND?
ROB HARVILLA! (HE'S A) MUSICIAN KILLA! ROB HARVILLA! PROMOTES MORE FILLA! ROB HARVILLA! HE'S IMPRESSED BY GORILLAZ!** ROB HARVILLA! GIVES A BAD NAME TO VANILLA!
WHAT?? HE'S STARFUCKING MORE CELEBRITIES?** WHAT?? HE KISSES ASS WITH EASE?? WHAT?? HE PRETENDS TO LOVE THE BLACK KEYS??** WHAT?? HE DREAMS OF BEING INDUSTRY SLEAZE?
WHAT?? HE'S CHARGING PAY-TO-PLAY FEES??** WHAT? HE'S ANGLING FOR A JOB AT REPRISE??** WHAT?? HE ENJOYS BEING ON HIS KNEES??** WHAT?? HE'S REALLY EASY TO PLEASE?? PUH-LEASE!
ROB HARVILLA! GIVE US A FRIGGIN' BREAK, WILL YA? ROB HARVILLA! CLAIMS TO LOVE THE LAME RHETT MILLER!** ROB HARVILLA! HE SUCKS THE ESTABLISHMENT'S PILLAR! ROB HARVILLA! HE'S A MUSICIAN KILLER! ROB HARVILLA! GIVES A BAD NAME TO VANILLA! ROB HARVILLA! CAN'T STAND UP TO FRAUDZILLA!
[give speech about the Village Voice pay-to-play, and their "recommending" games by the Yankees and Mets in every other issue now instead of arts and culture etc... Sinatra, Floyd, Beatles, Hendrix, all payola, music critics who have nothing to gain by writing up NEW bands or bands they like...]
[during half-time bit, do groovy dance with arm doing big jerk off motion. New-wavey, and slowly reveal to audience what symbolizism yr doing]
, which I do not recommend. If we're shopping for potential vocalists, I vote for Shilpa Ray. Also, my planned cover story on whoever this is has hereby been canceled due to conflict of interest.
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