SOTC's Favorite Dead Song Is No Dead Songs At All

SOTC's Favorite Dead Song Is No Dead Songs At All
David Atlas

Perhaps all the angry Grateful Dead crazies who complained so bitterly about SOTC's past Grateful Dead coverage ("I hope you get a vial poured on your head asswipe village scenester dickwad, suck a d bitch!") might instead enjoy Slate's typography of Dead fandom, subhedded "What your favorite Grateful Dead song says about you." For instance:

    "Tennessee Jed": Before you met your wife, there was this girl named Brianna. Man, you still think about her sometimes. The weird thing is, she wasn't really your type. While you were paddling Vanderbilt freshmen over at the Sigma Chi house, she was hot-boxing in a VW bus with her vegan friend Judy. You hated all that drug stuff, but you were fond of Brianna's liberated approach in the boudoir (actually the back of the VW). Brianna dragged you to a few Dead shows, but you never thought Jerry had anything on Gregg Allman. To get through the experience, you'd double down on the Southern Comfort in the parking lot, then say a small prayer that the set list didn't include "Space."

    Yearbook quote: "Drink all day and rock all night."

Alas, "Bird Song" did not make Slate's list, so we'll never know what quote our own nydedhed ("DICK...I was the "guy" who felt the need to scream "we miss Jerry" BETWEEN songs. The crowd loved it. Phil and Bobby smiled. Show was great! If you don't love Bird Song, then why bother going to Roseland or Gramercy. If you don't love Bird Song, you clearly don't get "it" and shouldn't review "it". Stick to reviewing Radiohead and Cold Play from your free tickets. DICK") had on his yearbook page. Probably something with the words "dick" and "Jerry" in it?


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