SXSW 2009: Here's Why You're Glad You're Not Going

SXSW 2009: Here's Why You're Glad You're Not Going

Cleveland State: upset special. (Not really.) So here we are. Austin. Joined by like 30,000 bands, roughly 29,875 we've never heard of, the warm weather a splendid balm to the spirit, the tantalizing prospect of free beer/BBQ/Metallica/copies of The Fader always theoretically within reach. It's a hoot. But if you didn't make the trip this year, fear not, because a) we here at SOTC will gladly tell you all about it, and b) it ain't that big a hoot. There are tangible downsides. Namely:

Missing the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament.

This is no small bones for the discerning sports fan: the most manic/overwhelming/gleefully anarchic long weekend of the year, a dizzying array of buzzer-beaters, wild upsets (don't sleep on Cleveland State!*), colleges you've never heard of, etc. etc. The thrill of watching your hastily assembled bracket destroyed from the comfort of your own couch over a feverish 96-hour period is not be denied. But no, instead you're stuck watching the Pains of Being Pure at Heart. If a Duke upset is in the offing I'm totally popping into BW3 or whatever.

Rampant Twitter mania.

The sheer volume of iPhone-mashing this event will involve is frankly pretty disgusting to contemplate. Though it's bound to cut down on the distasteful phenomenon of ID-gawking, wherein you stare at strangers' ID badges hanging around their necks, trying to read the name to see if it's someone nominally famous. How gauche. Trust me, you will know Tom Breihan when you see him.

The Vivian Girls are here, and apparently some of you find them antagonizing.

Sunburn would seem to be a strong possibility here.

You won't have to blog as much.

Indeed. Most of the panels have names like "Bloggers Are Now in Charge," "Demo Listening 2," "Annoying Things That Bands Do," or "Do a 360 Deal With Yourself."

Please do not do a 360 deal with yourself in public. Especially in Texas.

* Go ahead and sleep on Cleveland State.


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