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Ted Nugent Wants You to Know How Great Ted Nugent Is

Just look at this thing.
Just look at this thing.

Ted Nugent--everyone's favorite gun-toting, POTUS hating archery enthusiast--will release a double DVD/CD on October 22nd. It's called ULTRALIVE BALLISTICROCK and BOOM! your mind just got blown. The live footage contained within--from an August, 14, 2011 show at Penn's Peak--was captured by seven cameras, a surprisingly low number, given this is BALLISTICROCK we're talking about. Tucked away in the promotional email about the project is an attachment containing notable Ted Nugent facts and career milestones. It is a glorious slice of Self Importance. We present them all, annotated, after the jump.

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*Ted has just wrapped his 2013 Tour, marking more than 6,500 live concert performances over the course of his career! [1]

* Nugent was recently named Detroit's Greatest Guitar Player of All Time by readers of MLive! [2]

* Nugent was again voted Favorite Host on Outdoor Channel during ceremonies held in Las Vegas earlier this year. [3]

*Ted has received the James Fenimore Cooper Award for his many accomplishments in the field of writing, and for his enormous contributions in the promotion of our American hunting and outdoor heritage. [4]

[1] That is a lot of live shows. You'd almost think it's the way he's made his living for the past 40 years.

[2] MLive! The number one magazine (website? app? pamphlet?) for people who'd take the time to vote in a poll ranking Detroit guitarists.

[3] Quick, name one other host on Outdoor Channel.

[4] Fact: James Fenimore Cooper subscribes to MLive!  

* Ted Nugent has been named the official Ambassador of Outdoor Channel! [5]

*Ted Nugent Kamp for Kids celebrated its 25th year June 8th in Omaha! Ted and Shemane Nugent personally attended the Kamp, providing individualized instruction and inspiration to the kids! The next session is slated for September 14 in South Dakota. [6]

*Ted Nugent has been inducted into the National Bowhunters Hall of Fame. Nuge was honored in two categories:  Excellence in Bowhunting, and Literary Excellence. These categories acknowledge Ted's widely acclaimed skills as an outdoorsman, and his promotion of bowhunting on an international level via his best-selling books and popular writings. [7]

*Nugent was named Michigan Conservationist of the Year. [8]

* Ted was a featured speaker at the NRA National Convention in Houston where his Freedom is Not Free presentation was a highlight of the event. [9]

* Our favorite outspoken, liberty-loving author-rocker is writing for WorldNetDaily. Catch his exclusive weekly column, "The Ted Offensive," every Thursday at WND.com. "Ted Nugent rocks," said Joseph Farah, editor and CEO. "And I don't mean just as a music star. He rocks as an outspoken entertainer who is so politically incorrect. We're honored that he would choose WND to sound off about what's on his mind every week." [10]

* Ted Nugent Spirit of the Wild TV is a seven-time--and counting! -- winner of the People's Choice Award. [11]

[5] Duties include: Going outdoors, chiding those who'd rather watch TV.

[6] The number of !s and Ks in this bullet point make us unkomfortable!

[7] Often overlooked in the category of Things That Go Well Together is, of course, Excellence in Bowhunting and Literary Excellence.

[8] The State Bird of Michigan is the American Robin. Ted Nugent has accidentally killed three dozen with arrant buckshot since waking up this morning.

[9] "Speakers throughout the weekend included NRA Chief Executive Wayne LaPierre, Texas Governor Rick Perry and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin." That's a dangerous amount of stupid in one room.

[10] tl;dr

[11] Wait. Seven times and counting? Well, yeah. That's pretty impressive.

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Ted Talk: Nugent for the Outdoor Channel
Ted Talk: Nugent for the Outdoor Channel
* Ted Nugent, producer & host of Ted Nugent Spirit of the Wild on Outdoor Channel received the Lightning Rod Award in recognition of his non-stop promotion of hunting and the outdoor lifestyle. [12]

* Ted's latest New York Times bestseller--Ted, White & Blue: The Nugent Manifesto--has been released in paperback. [13]

* Ted Nugent has joined with Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox to safeguard the Great Lakes. Cox has asked Nugent to lend his voice to educational Public Service Announcements to bring awareness and visibility to stopping the invasive Asian Carp and safeguard the 800,000 plus Michigan jobs connected to the health of our waterways. [14]

* Ted has received the Bronze Smokey Bear Award for outstanding service in the prevention of human caused wildfires. Ted was recognized by the Texas Forest Service for the effectiveness of his PSA's and print campaign. The Smokey Bear Award is the highest national honor one can receive for outstanding work and significant impact in wildfire prevention. [15]

[12] No offense, Ted, but a lot of these bullet points are about your show. You probably could've listed all of them under one point for efficiency's sake. You are Michigan Conservationist of the Year, after all.

[13] Now that people no longer read books, literally anyone can be a New York Times Bestselling author. Provided, of course, they are on TV. (see also: Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Every Real Housewives cast member, Snookie). You're not only on TV, Ted, you're THE AMBASSADOR OF THE NETWORK THAT BROADCASTS YOUR SHOW. Of course you move units. But props for this thing being released in paperback. That's a rarity for bestsellers.

[14] 800,000 jobs? In Michigan alone? Just connected to the health of the state's waterways? Obama is an incredible president.

[15] If "Bronze Smokey Bear Award" was a euphemism for a depraved sex act, what would that sex act be? Tell us now in the comments!

* Ted was made an honorary member of the C. Company Texas Airforce National Guard during a special ceremony at the Stars & Stripes Laredo Airshow in Texas. Nugent was honored for his service, dedication and support of the American Soldier. [16]

*The DAMN YANKEES reunited in January, 2010 at NAMM, the North American Music Merchants Convention in Anaheim. This marks the first time Ted Nugent, Tommy Shaw, Jack Blades and Michael Cartellone have performed live since 2002.  Nuge also joined fellow musicians Carlos Santana, Al Di Meola and more at the Paul Reed Smith Press Conference!  [17]

* Ted, White and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto attained the #8 position on the New York Times bestseller list! This marks the rock legend's second time charting on the list, a spot he achieved with God, Guns, and Rock 'n' Roll (2000).  TED's other successful books include Kill It and Grill It, Blood Trails: The Truth About Bowhunting and Blood Trails II. [18]

* Ted lent his voice and likeness to Guitar Hero® World Tour, available now, joining the all-star cast of rock legends featured in the game including Jimi Hendrix, Ozzy Osbourne and Sting. [19]

*Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes performed at the Detroit Music Awards April 17, 2009 for the first time in more than 35 years! Nuge and Dukes were honored with Detroit's Distinguished Achievement Award. [20]

* Ted made his feature film debut in 2008 in the film Beer For My Horses, which stars Toby Keith and also features Rodney Carrington, Claire Forlani, Tom Skerritt and Willie Nelson. The film been chosen as the recipient of the Tex Ritter Award by the Academy of Country Music. [21]

*Ted Nugent has been profiled on A & E's BIOGRAPHY, and on VH1's BEHIND THE MUSIC. [22]

[16] TED NUGENT [17] IS [18] THE [19] WORLD'S [20] GREATEST [21] LIVING [22] HUMAN

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