Top 10 Super Bowl 2012 Halftime-Show Possibilities

Let's all do our best to keep this from happening
Let's all do our best to keep this from happening

So another enjoyable terrible Super Bowl Halftime Show is in the books, and as we wash "I Gotta Feeling" out of our eyes and ears for the thousandth time, the question becomes: Who will grace the stage in 2012? How old will their most famous album be? Will your mom like it? Will Twitter? Will you? Let us now gather the most likely suspects and complain about them in advance.

Top 10 Super Bowl 2012 Halftime-Show Possibilities

Taylor Swift It's awfully surprising that this hasn't happened yet, unless it's the mere fact that she can't sing live at all, but on the other hand that's not exactly among the criteria.

Top 10 Super Bowl 2012 Halftime-Show Possibilities

Taylor Swift's Adversaries This is basically the only way to get Kanye West involved, unfortunately, and frankly John Mayer would thrive in this environment. Guest skits/blog-post recitations from Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bob Lefsetz, and probably a bunch of dudes she went to high school with.

Top 10 Super Bowl 2012 Halftime-Show Possibilities

U2 2012 would mark the 10-year anniversary of their last Super Bowl appearance, a legitimately affecting 9-11 tribute unmatched in the decade since in terms of gravitas, if not overall competence. They'd work much better with some sort of horrific national disaster to play off of; the new U2 album may actually suffice.

Top 10 Super Bowl 2012 Halftime-Show Possibilities

Lil Wayne It's about time an actual NFL fan got the nod here, and if Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger are morally redeemable the whole Riker's interlude shouldn't be a deal-breaker. I greatly look forward to the conversation I would have with my mother about this.


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