15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

It's not that we want to take all the joy out of your life, really it's not! It's just that freedom from Charlie Sheen will be better for all of us, him included. And, really, the world (and Twitter) is chock-full of other people saying funny, even hilarious), informative, not abusive-to-women, and far less repetitive and lame things than you-know-who. In preparation for Worldwide Global Unfollow Charlie Sheen on Twitter Day (this Friday!), the Runnin' Scared team has collected our favorite alternatives to He Who Must Not Be Named. Servicey! In no particular order...

15. @AstroRobonaut. Says our own @NickGreene, "Because it is NASA's humanoid robot astronaut that tweets from space. If you need more explanation than that, I am sorry."

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

14. @FabioViviani. He is a bitchin' rockstar former Top Chef All-Star, and he says things like this.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

13. Both @_RosieGray and @JoeCoscarelli love @MarthaStewart, Joe "for the accidental pocket tweets and TwitPics" and Rosie because "She's always tweeting pictures of her fabulous meals in fabulous places." Like half-time shows!

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

12. @AzizAnsari "is almost as funny on Twitter as he is on Parks and Recreation" says @MylesTanzer. Plus, "his profile picture is him as a baby and that's just totally cute."

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

11. @Listen_Up_Lady gives THE best advice.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

10.@MrEddieHuang. We just want to put the tweets of Eddie Huang, chef and owner of BaoHaus, in a bun and snack on 'em.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

9. @PatKiernan. Seriously, how can you not follow this guy? He's, like, where the news meets class. Plus, he's Canadian. (Shout-outs to @RogerClark41 and @JamieShupak, too.)

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

8.@RL_Stine, because you read his Goosebumps series as a kid and he is still writing them. Also, he tweets real-life horror stories.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

7. @EMMAGKELLER, wife of New York Times executive editor Bill Keller, "because there isn't a better proxy for your mother on the Internet, nor a more supportive spouse," says Coscarelli.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

6. @PartyPooped is another Coscarelli fave. She "makes Twitter art, has funnier jokes than you," he says. And no, he doesn't mean me.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

5. Sometimes the best Tweeters are the really bad ones. Like @Rosie (O'Donnell). It's like Tweetenfreude.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

4. @AskDrRuth. Because.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

3. You want coke talk? You can have coke talk. Follow @CokeTweet. More funny, still druggy.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

2. @BorowitzReport. Always tweeting, almost always spot-on.

15 People You Should Follow on Twitter Instead of @CharlieSheen

1. Us. Oh, come on, you didn't think you were getting away without that, did you? The @RunninScaredNYC team loves you. So does @VoiceStreet. Follow her or she'll cry.

Not enough for you? Need more Sheen-substitute? Check the Awl's list too. We approve.

[JDoll][@thisisjendoll]

Previously: Unfollow Charlie Sheen on Twitter Day: Do It for America!


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