A Psychic Spider Monkey From Staten Island Will Predict the New Hampshire Primary Winner
Following in the vaunted footsteps of Paul the Octopus (RIP!), Grandpa is a spider monkey who lives at the Staten Island Zoo who has been instilled with the ability to, occasionally, choose a banana or tennis ball with the name of a winning sports team on it, thereby counting him among the ranks of so-called psychic creatures. Not that we're doubting his ESP, nor his, as the Daily News puts it, "Yoda-like eyes." His name is Grandpa, he must be wise!
In the past, Grandpa has predicted winners of tennis matches and football games, sometimes accurately (for example, six out of nine of the U.S. Open matches, and Green Bay's Super Bowl Win last year) and sometimes not. But, as seems common in the retiree years -- Grandpa is turning 40 and may be the oldest living member of the black-handed spider monkey family -- he's making a move from sports to politics. On Monday, he's supposed to pick which GOP candidate will win the New Hampshire primary.
What will Grandpa do? It's bound to be exciting, and reflective of the mores of our current time:
"He could sit there and not do anything for five minutes," Peter Laline said, hypothesizing that Grandpa could prove to be as fickle or as undecided as many in the deeply divided Republican electorate.
"You can never tell with animals," he said. "They never do exactly what you think they're going to do."
Just like politicians.
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