After The Fall, Rightbloggers Divided: Are Most Americans Socialists, or Dupes?
When the end came, rightbloggers were at first torn as to its meaning.
One quick take was that Obama had no mandate because the conservative cause was so repulsive to voters that he really should have won by much more.
Others thought the American people just didn't know, despite tireless rightblogger reportage, where Obama stood ("If people can't say why they're voting for Obama, then he has no mandate"), and so could not be blamed for their choice. (At Ace of Spades, Purple Avenger hilariously suggested that "One of the problems with Obama was tracking down his past. A lot of the juicier vid clips and audio pieces appeared too late to be game changers." Yes, if only Ace had uncovered Obama's secret girlfriend earlier, things may have gone differently.)
Some contented themselves with the cheering thought that Obama would destroy America, and then everyone would find out that they'd been "duped," in Dave Price's words, "into electing the least experienced, most radical, and most ethically compromised Presidential candidate I can remember."
But others decided Obama's victory was neither an accident nor an anomaly, but an indictment of America itself.
"Americans have chosen socialism," said Protein Wisdom.
"John Adam[s] once said that no democracy lasts," scowled Flopping Aces. "It often commits suicide. Maybe this our beginning of the end." "Look for growth in the hate-crime industry," warned Jules Crittenden. "No, I don't mean actual crimes of hate, I mean the definition of freedom of speech as one. OK, maybe it already is."
ChronWatch said "America has become a godless nation" that follows a "false Messiah" to whom ChronWatch "will not bend the knee."
The Canadian Five Feet of Fury declared our country "The Parasite States of America." She said Obama "wouldn't last five minutes under torture" and that everyone who voted from him is "shallow and superficial... ready to sell their birthright for 'free' 'health' 'care' and other socialist treats." These people declined a McCain Presidency because "a real leader, a real hero, clearly makes them feel inadequate."
FFoF was briefly comforted to imagine that the election of a black President meant no one could complain about racism again. But when P.J. O'Rourke suggested that Barry Goldwater's stand against the 1964 Civil Rights Act had sown the seeds of this week's defeat, she shot back, "Goldwater was right." She also denounced Katrina survivors as lazy criminals.
Her fellow frostback Free Canuckistan warned of "Black racist Obamunist soft-communism" and preached that "Joe the Plumber -- persecuted and maligned –- is a reminder of Christ the Saviour."
Stateside rightbloggers committed to keeping watch on the Obama Administration from day one. ("I vow to see you as a reality," Conservative Princess mystifyingly warned Obama; "I grew up with members of SDS in my own family. I know who you are... we are out there. And we will be watching.")
Or, more properly, they committed to keep watch before day one, as their truth-squadding began with Obama's victory party in Grant Park -- where, Wizbang reported, "someone was waving the communist flag" and "must feel like Obama's a kindred spirit."
When the market dropped on the two days after the election, they put it on Obama -- "BIGGEST POST-ELECTION STOCK CRASH IN HISTORY," jeered The Astute Bloggers, "President-elect Obama made more history today" -- though they became less interested in the market on Friday.
And when Obama, in his first press conference, made a joke about Nancy Reagan's alleged new-age beliefs, they attacked him for "making fun of beloved, sick and elderly former First Ladies."
With whatever energy they had left, they set about purging traitors from their own midst -- that is, conservative "wets" who were insufficiently warm toward Sarah Palin. RedState instituted "Operation Leper." "We're tracking down all the people from the McCain campaign now whispering smears against Governor Palin," promised RedState. "We intend to constantly remind the base about these people, monitor who they are working for, and, when 2012 rolls around, see which candidates hire them. Naturally then, you'll see us go to war against those candidates."
"There will be analysis that declares this [defeat] proves the Republican Party needs a bigger tent," wrote Flopping Aces. "I could not more strongly disagree." The author called instead for a smaller tent, proposing that true sons of liberty "cast aside appeasers like David Brooks, Chris Buckley, Peggy Noonan and even George Will and the rest. They are more than welcome to write about us, but they can not be permitted to write for us." One wonders how these celebrity pundits will react to the loss of cut-and-paste exposure.
Will they calm down? We doubt it -- because they think they're already calm. At Pajamas Media John Hawkins tells the brethren that "the most common reaction across the right side of the blogosphere was either a congratulations to Obama, a recognition that having the first black president was a historic moment for America, or some combination thereof" -- but quoted in support of his thesis mostly rightbloggers who denounced Obama's "malignant collectivist ideology and lack of qualifications," his "scary and terroristic" associations, his "self-involved speeches and their inefficacy against rogue regimes going nuclear," etc.
You may have been wondering whether this column would have enough material to continue in a post-Bush America. We're thinking we may have to increase its frequency to twice a week, at least.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.