Asshole Pilot Landed Plane on New York Beach Because He Felt Like It
Jason Maloney, the 24-year-old pilot who landed his small plane in Queens on Monday night, sounds like a pain in the ass. Today, the New York Times reports that Maloney chose to land his single-engine Piper Warrior on Rockaway Beach because he really likes the TV show Flying Wild Alaska, which shows "rough landings." After he went through with the dangerous landing, he told cops, "It happens in Alaska all the time." The cop responded, "Welcome to New York." Now leave, Jason, before you hurt someone.
Maloney says he had to land his plane because he had a sick passenger, but he made all sorts of other excuses to air traffic controllers (audio below) who were worried about the huge passenger planes taking off from JFK airport in the same area.
But Maloney bullshitted his way through -- and landed anyway -- but only after this series of bizarre lies:
- He said his engine was "a little teensy bit rough."
- He asked the air traffic controller, "Whoaaaa, what if I want to hide from you?"
- He pronounced "Roger," like "Rodjaaaah."
- He said, "I'm a paramedic, uh, is there anyone I can ask? Any private beaches around?"
- He claimed he had to "drop a pastor off at JFK who is doing some medical mission work. Where would I drop him off at your airport?"
Maloney was also carrying a 21- and 22-year-old passenger, which indicates circumstantially that they were all screwed up on drugs or drink or both. For some reason, a cop doesn't think so: "He doesn't sound drunk. He doesn't sound stoned. He sounds like a jerk." Either way, he'll likely lose his license, but hear it all for yourself:
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