Atheists Have the Best Sex
Today in sex studies: You will have much better sex if you are not religious, if by religious you mean the type of person who is plagued with guilt both during and for weeks, maybe even years, after sex because SEX IS BAD. This is the lesson we may take from the Daily Mail's examination of a Sex and Secularism survey from Kansas University, which found that guilty religious types had practically zero fun at all, because even when they were doing something fun, they felt really bad about it. Presumably that ends when you finally get to heaven? Anyone know?
According to the study, both religious and nonreligious folks did about the same sex stuff -- watching porn, having oral sex, masturbating, and even having affairs -- with equal abandon. But the religious folks simply did not enjoy the experiences as much because of the feelings of "intense regret" they were left with. Which makes you wonder why they continued to do those things, but that's the kind of twisted lives some people lead.
Here's the breakdown on guilt levels from highest to lowest, of the religions listed:
• Mormon • Jehovah's Witness • Pentecostal • Seventh Day Adventist • Baptist • Catholic • Lutheran • Agnostic • Atheist
If you happen to fall in those top guilty religious brackets, take heart: People who had once been religious but became atheists "reported a significant improvement in sexual satisfaction."
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