Bend Over, Boys!
Attention all straight men! This is a call to arms. I know the secret to a better sex life. I'm willing to share it with you. There is something you need to learn how to do. Something that can transform your life. You must try it at least once; I am sure you won't be disappointed. You've got something to pick up from your gay brothers. And it's not just those fashion and decorating tips you marvel about on Will and Grace. Something your wives and girlfriends can be taught by their lesbian sisters. No, it's not a crash course in expert muff diving. There is a craze sweeping the nation, and you oughta know about it. It's ass fuckingwith you on the receiving end.
For many of you, your first foray into the land of anal penetration took place in a sterile white room, on a paper-covered table. Your proctologist squeezed a lump of KY onto his latex-clad hand and shoved his finger up your ass. It wasn't erotic, it didn't feel particularly good, and you aren't even attracted to the guy. (OK, maybe you are, but that's another article.) All this happened five minutes after words like "prostate cancer" and "rectal exam" were uttered. Some turn-on. Now you know what we feel like at the gynecologist. Put this experience out of your mindit was a medical exam. I'm talking about mind-blowing sex.
Check out the best-selling porn titles, articles in magazines from Details to Redbook, the sales figures of this columnist's book on the subject. It's as undeniable and obvious as tense sphincter musclesanal sex has become one of the hot sex acts of the new millennium. And this time, it's not just for butt pirates. While they are getting their share of the booty, gay men have not cornered the anal market. It's a falsehood that all gay men have anal sex, and it's equally mythic that gay men have more anal sex than straight people or lesbians. In fact, that oh-so-traditional pairing of man plus woman may just surpass the man-on-man statistics in this particular, um, area. Butt-banging breeders may even throw their own pride parade. What will be the colors of the Anal Pride flag?
Every single day that I worked at the woman-owned sex-toy store Toys in Babeland, at least one heterosexual couple bought a dildo and harness for her to fuck him. Remember My First Pony, a sweet toy for little girls? Well, for these adventurous women and their partners, I recommended what I called "My first strap-on"for the ride of his (and her) life. It's a slim silicone dildo named Mistress, which I consider to be the best for virgin voyagers, and a simple functional harness. And, of course, I recommended lots and lots of lube.
The growing popularity of boys bending over was equally apparent on the West Coast at the sex store Good Vibrations. Jackie Strano, a salesperson for five years, and her partner, erotic writer Shar Rednour, were also inspired by the trend. The sexy duo teamed up with lesbian porn company Fatale Video to create Bend Over Boyfriend, the first and only sex instruction video all about women giving men anal pleasure. It stars author-sexologist Dr. Carol Queen (who has a doctorate in human sexuality education) and her partner, Dr. Robert Morgan, a sex educator and chiropractor. After a detailed anatomy lesson and hands-on demonstration by this real-life couple, two other couples try out their expert tips and techniques.
Bend Over Boyfriend was the maiden porno voyage of Strano and Rednour's production company, S.I.R. Productions (stands for Sex, Indulgence, and Rock 'n' Roll). The response to the video was unequivocally orgasmic. Bend Over Boyfriend was released in April 1998, and has sold over 5000 copies with its distribution limited to only eight or nine retailers, compared to the hundreds of distributors and retailers that mainstream companies sell their products through. It was on the Good Vibrations best-seller list for 12 consecutive months and named the best-selling video of all time, until Bend Over Boyfriend 2 knocked it off the list, with more than 2000 copies sold since August 1999, and counting.
Bend Over Boyfriend 2, subtitled "More Rockin', Less Talkin'," leaves the educational details behind and focuses on five hot sex scenes of girls strappin' it on and stickin' it in. Dr. Queen reappears to show one daring couple the ropes, and her presence, in true porn fashion, leads to a raucous three-way. The video's got dirty talk, cross-dressing, role playing, s/m, shoe licking, real couples who love anal sex, a butt plug with a horse tail on the end of it, and lots of other sex toys. In fact, one toy, called Bobby Sue, should be credited as a star of the movieit makes appearances in multiple scenes and works its ass off. Designed and manufactured by Vixen Creations, Bobby Sue is perfect for the job: a silicone dildo with a hollowed-out base. This little hole in one makes room for a vibrating egg, which in turn makes the dildo vibrate in his ass and against her clitoris. I just love sex-toy technology.
Since anal pleasure is still taboo in American culture, anyone who admits to being a backdoor betty is on the front lines of sexual liberation. As women, since we are already positioned as the receptive, penetrated partner, we need only reorient ourselves to focus on the other orifice. Men, on the other hand, are the penetrator, the active partner, the pencil to her sharpener. Straight men are coming out of their own closet (who knew they had such a fabulous one?), proudly saying (like they do in the video), "I want to get fucked in the ass!" and "I love getting fucked in the ass!"
These guys have gotten over their shame and fear and embraced all the ass has to offer: those nerve endings, that sensitive tissue, and the pleasures of prostate gland stimulation. A few inches inside the rectum and toward his navel, the "male G-spot" and a world of ecstasy await. Even Bob Berkowitz, former host of the CNBC show Real Personal and current host of an Internet radio show called Love Bytes on E-Yada, has joined the bandwagon. During his interview of me in January, he admitted to all his listeners that he had experiencedand enjoyedprostate stimulation. And this, my friends, is the stuff of revolutions.
Fear not: Women can get in on the revolutionary sexual equation too. In this new reorientation, straight girls can wield dicks (dicks they're not just for dykes anymore!) and see how the other half fucks. As they try out the role of active penetrator, hetero girls can slip their tongues, fingers, and cocks inside their male lovers' bodies, learning how to give and get pleasure in a (w)hole new way.
So does this mean men are finally getting in touch with their "feminine" side? Yes and no. Yes, they can be the receptive partner, be on the other end of a hard cock for a change, and maybe get to know what it's like to give it up. But guys, you can take it up the ass and still be a man. So what are you waiting for? Straight men of the world, unite . . . and bend over.
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