Bike Tickets Up 65 Percent in 2011; Every Cyclist Is An Asshole, New York Post Reports
Bike-hating newspaper the New York Post dispatched four reporters to two bike lanes in Soho in order to observe how many of the riders broke the rules thereby putting everyone's life in danger, as the NYPD continues to crack down on "dangerous" riders. The Post "investigation" counted 7,182 cyclists between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. over a five day span (while we thought the Post taught us that no one even rode bikes) and the tattletale tabloid estimates that 41 percent of the riders broke the law as they "blew throughout red lights, pedaled the wrong way, zipped along the sidewalk or rode outside the lanes." We get it, Post -- cyclists are ruining this city. Stop wasting everyone's time with math.
As if there was any doubt about the paper's stance, the accompanying photograph shows a man riding a fixed-gear bike, talking on his cell phone while checking out the butt of a woman in high heels. See, devils.
Throughout the five-day experiment, a bunch of riders almost hit people, but as did a bunch of pedestrians and delivery vans and taxi cabs, presumably. The Post counted "an average of four near-collisions per hour," whatever that means. Also:
Another time, a man on a unicycle going the wrong way down Lafayette ran the light, forcing a cyclist crossing Prince with the right of way to swerve to avoid a collision.
Someone stop this madness.
One pedestrian said he "can't stand" cyclists and a cop added, "We usually don't ticket or fine them, but we should, because they break all the rules. I've seen a lot of accidents right here involving cyclists. It happens all the time."
This year's 65 percent increase in summonses brings the total to 9,427 so far in 2011, and we've seen them for everything from speeding to running red lights to riding on the sidewalk and laughing at someone who was caught riding on the sidewalk.
But now the Post knows for sure because they made it scientific; every rider belongs behind bars, basically.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.
- Seventeen Millennials Arrested as Police Bust Elaborate Credit Card Scheme
- Video: Brooklyn Flag-Burning Protest Erupts in a Few Almost-Fights
- The NYPD Has Installed Cameras Across the City So You Won't Be Tempted to Set Off...