Bros Icing Bros: The Carnage Continues Through Tuesday
Yesterday, we wondered if Bros Icing Bros - the urban guerrilla warfare game involving The Worst Malt Liquor Beverage on Planet Earth - was going to end, and if it wasn't, who'd be the first "Bro" iced on Monday morning. We got our answers.
In the comments on yesterday's post, one person took note of the homoerotic tendencies of a game enlisting the masculine designation of "bro" with regards to an on-knee position and chin-up drinking. They aren't incorrect, though for the record, women are also "bros" in this regards. Even more, though, someone who goes by "G" explained:
A buddy of mine Iced his roommate at 7:30 AM on a Monday morning by replacing a shampoo bottle with an Ice. Great way to start your first morning of the work week - a sneak Ice in the shower.
Hence the "warfare" element of Bros Icing Bros: this is a merciless, take no prisoners game. Though this raises important questions:
- Did the Buddy of G make sure to follow his roommate into the bathroom to ensure said icing was witnessed?
- Must icings need to be witnessed to count as icing?
- If a bro is iced and nobody is there to see it, is it an icing?
- Or did he just burst into the bathroom, risks considered, screaming YOU JUST GOT ICED BRO! once he heard his roommate's agonized guttural groan upon seeing a Smirnoff Ice at 7:30 AM?
That said, this also gives more topicality to the ever-elongated debate of whether or not there are, in fact, objectively "stupid" questions. Furthermore, we incorrectly referred to a "young lady" in yesterday's post who works for College Humor/Busted Tees. She corrected us:
"Great job calling me a young lady in your article but I would prefer sophisticated professional business woman."
And that she is, which makes the fact that Bros Icing Bros has taken over her company's workplace all the more mystifying. On the one hand, yes, it's College Humor. On the other hand, it's College Humor, a media holding of IAC, and now a company full of people who are forcing each other to binge drink before noon. And they are now keeping score via Don't Ice Me Bro Dot Com:
St. John's Red Storm Men's Basketball vs. Cal State Northridge Matadors Womens Basketball
TicketsMon., Dec. 5, 6:30pm
Tire Pros Classic - Syracuse V Uconn
TicketsMon., Dec. 5, 7:00pm
Brooklyn Nets vs. Washington Wizards
TicketsMon., Dec. 5, 7:30pm
New York Jets vs. Indianapolis Colts
TicketsMon., Dec. 5, 8:30pm
College Humor chairperson Ricky Van Veen is conspicuously absent from the top contenders, though as they say: respect the crown. But how would fellow-IAC importantperson Tina Brown take to icing in her office at The Daily Beast? Likely not well. Do you see the disparity, though?
Professionals are Icing each other. Professionals at media companies. At literary agencies. Booking agencies. Record companies. And artists, too: music acts like Coolio and The National, who are no doubt professionals in their own right. Goldman Sachs - who could likely use a drink, or be beaten with one, depending on where you stand - has even gotten in on the Icing.
And yet, some people - like marketing thinktank PSFK - are still unclear as to whether or not this project is all a marketing stunt.
This theory continues in light of the undeniable fact that the "Patient Zero" of Bros Icing Bros can be traced back to a blog registered to some presumably "official" bro in Georgia named Jim Greg, who has since been interviewed, and called one flavor of Smirnoff Ice "horrific." Which goes in line with what our reasoning to all of this has been all along: Why would Smirnoff enlist a project involving a game, the crux of which is predicated on how embarrassingly bad and what a truly awful beverage Smirnoff Ice is?
They wouldn't. Which is why we've reached out to London's Spook Media, who represents British spirits maker Diageo - who owns the Smirnoff brand - for "web design and technology, social media and online marketing." They seemed to be unaware at the time of what was happening with Bros Icing Bros, but remember, London's pretty far from New York City and Georgia, which seem to be the current Ground Zeros of Icings. We'll report more as we get it. Until then, please: Be careful out there, and godspeed you young icers.
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