Buy a Bed Bug Fart Detector
There's now a machine that detects bed bug farts ("gas emissions," but that means farts basically, and farts are funny). The BBD-100 is a personal handheld bed bug detector that resembles an '80s teen movie prop and "is so sensitive that it will detect if even just one bed bug is hiding within six inches of the unit's probe." Paranoid New Yorkers will find the BBD-100's cost of $299 a small price to pay for knowing whether or not, and to what extent, bed bugs are farting in your house.
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