Cheap-Ass Bastard Moves Apartment Via Subway, Loses Friends and Alienates Everyone

New York Magazine's Daily Intel shares a quintessential, amazing "Only in New York" tale of a man with an ill-advised dream involving the subway and all of his paltry belongings. It seems that 24-year-old Young Min has attempted to do what even the cheapest of New Yorkers knows never to attempt: Move from Flushing to the Upper West Side via the 7 train with a switch to the 1 at Times Square. While Daily Intel does not report when this "move thingie" happened, we're presuming it was probably at rush hour. Because why wouldn't it be?

Somehow, Min convinced two "friends" (short-term, obvi) to help him move "his air conditioner, collapsible double-rod closet, dishes (including serving platters and utensils), laptop, linen, quilts, books, clothes, and assorted framed pictures, a soup cauldron, Korean medicine, condiments, and a 40-pound bag of rice." Of course, tragedy ensued: The air conditioner broke, the friends went MIA before Min moved his bed, and now no one will talk to him or return his calls. Min's TV remains in Flushing, along with his dignity. Oh, and no person is ever going to sleep on that gnarly subway mattress with you, dude.

Hire. Movers.


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