Clintons Look to Beat Tarmac-gate and Email-gate — So Get Ready for Barbell-Gate!

The conservative War Against the Clintons has raged nearly a quarter of a century; yet, despite meager results, they show no sign of giving it up. (National Review’s Jonah Goldberg, for example, who came of age in the Battle of Lewinsky, to this day lards lame Bill Clinton jokes into his columns as if they might rouse the flagging spirits of the Clinton Contras.)

One thing may be changing, though. In the old days, whenever they ballyhooed a Clinton scandal, rightbloggers at least gave the impression of believing that this time, by God, they’d got those Clinton bastards. But as Bill Clinton’s recent meeting with Attorney General Loretta Lynch and Hillary Clinton’s recent interview with the FBI show, their faith is now less sturdy, and no sooner do they identify a “-gate” that they begin a decline into the self-pity that has become the hallmark of contemporary conservatism.

Maybe it was #Benghazi that broke their will. When Republicans set up Congressional hearings over the 2012 embassy slaughter, rightbloggers had high hopes for Hillary’s scalp. But their "explosive" "bombshell" "revelations" came to naught, and by the time the hearings reached their eleven-hour Hillary-grilling anti-climax the brethren were observably frustrated and pettish.

But soon after those hearings terminated and a report had been issued, Bill Clinton was caught talking to Lynch in her jet at Phoenix Sky Harbor International. The revelation that Mr. Clinton privately met with the official ultimately responsible for any federal prosecution of Mrs. Clinton's email antics spiked rightbloggers’ serotonin levels. Some even tried "#tarmacgate" as a hashtagThis time for sure!

“Of course Bill Clinton arranged the meeting to influence the investigation of Hillary, even if only grandchildren, travel and golf were discussed,” claimed William A. Jacobson of Legal Insurrection. He fixated on the “appearance of impropriety,” which is what people fixate on when they don’t have the goods.  “If there was no appearance of impropriety,” thundered Jacobson, “why did Lynch wait until a local news crew, apparently tipped off, asked her about it?” An innocent woman would have run to the press and said “Guess who I just talked to!”

And as long as we’re talking about appearances, Jacobson added that the meeting “feeds a narrative of the Clintons acting like the fix is in…” They’re acting like they’re guilty, see, and that feeds a narrative spun by guys like Jacobson. With evidence like that it’s a miracle Hillary’s not already in jail.

At the same site, A Ridiculous Pseudonym declared that “calls for [Lynch’s] resignation” were “multiplying,” a charge Ridic Pseud supported with a link to “Attorney General Lynch Must Resign” by Jay Sekulow of the American Center for Law and Justice, which sounds impressive 'til you look up the ACLJ on SourceWatch and find it’s a Pat Robertson front group.

“Was Bill Clinton Plea Bargaining With The Attorney General?” asked the Daily Caller. PJ Media’s J. Christian Adams boldfaced that it was “a signal to all of the hardworking FBI agents who have the goods on Hillary” to lay off.

Next we learned Hillary Clinton was to give a “voluntary interview” to the FBI on the subject of her home email server that lasted three and a half hours. The brethren had a go but, perhaps worn out by the Lynch affair, couldn’t make it convincing.

“The FBI has indicated to various news agencies that interviewing Hillary is one of the final steps before they decide which charges they may bring against her, or even possibly (shamefully) deciding not to bring any charges and let her get away with it,” said RedState’s Caleb Howe, sounding like a six-year-old doing a playroom news report on how his big brother gets away with everything.

“HILLARY HAS KNACK FOR ELUDING JAIL,” headlined longtime birther and Clinton obsessive Jerome Corsi. “CNN REPORTER SAYS SOURCE LEAKS THAT HILLARY WON’T BE INDICTED BY THE FBI!!” cried the Right Scoop. Some went for rueful humor: Iowahawk said, “Yes, the same FBI that is about to let Hillary skate is the same one that prosecuted hundreds of teenagers for downloading music.” (I did say “went for.”)

Some hoped that at least the People would look at this latest in a series of failed Clinton indictments and draw the proper conclusion — not that their enemies are obsessed, but that the Clintons are master criminals: “Whichever way this goes officially, Americans have just witnessed a giant corruption eruption,” said the Boston Herald’s Tom Shattuck. “This time, it was every American who was meant to be fooled, not just her political opponents.” “And when Hillary goes free, as literally everyone knows she will, we’ll know which party she cared about more,” said Allahpundit of Hot Air. “If Trump doesn’t push this at every rally for the rest of the year, it’s political malpractice.” Yeah, maybe this is the incident that finally gets Trump to go on the attack.

While this was all playing out Sunday night, Hillary Clinton took in Hamilton on Broadway and hung out with Lars Ulrich, which you have to admit is A-1, maybe even Obama-level trolling.

So assuming the feds don’t indict Hillary, what’s next? Some of you may have heard that former U.N. official John Ashe of Antigua and Barbuda, who was fighting charges by the U.S. Government of involvement in a Chinese bribery scheme, died on June 22 under mysterious circumstances — allegedly a “weightlifting accident” — as sometimes happens to international scamsters who get in over their heads.

It happens that one of Ashe’s co-defendants, Ng Lap Seng, had previously been reported involved (but not charged — all about appearances, see?) in a Clinton kickback scheme. So — ah, I see you’ve already guessed:

“UN Official ‘Accidentally’ Crushes Throat and Dies Before Testifying Against Hillary Clinton,” hollered Jim Hoft at The Gateway Pundit. Hoft offered no credible source for the “Testifying Against Hillary Clinton” bit, but did observe, “What a strange coincidence?” which may be a coded message.

“A Top Official Scheduled To Testify Against Hillary FOUND DEAD!” gushed the Political Insider. “…we know there are at least 46 people from Clinton world who have died under mysterious circumstances…” “ 'DEATH BY BARBELL' SPARKS QUESTIONS ABOUT HILLARY 'SILENCING PEOPLE,' ” all-capped Bob Unruh of WorldNetDaily.

Richard Johnson at the New York Post claimed Ashe’s lawyer told him, “There is not one iota of evidence that it was homicide. This is nothing at all like Vince Foster.”

Vince Foster! That name’s like a shofar blast to wingnuts. Expect to see “Barbell-Gate” mentioned soon at big-time rightblogger sites like National Review — delicately at first, but evolving into full-out accusations if it looks like Hillary’s going to win. Unless somebody comes up with something else first.  

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