De Blasio Talks Plowghazi, Forkgate During First Daily Show Appearance
Cheers to the new regime.
Mayor Bill de Blasio made his first appearance since his inauguration on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Monday. Stewart's conversation with De Blasio touched on the major scandals of his first 34 days in office -- Plowghazi, Forkgate -- as well as his future plans, e.g. the Great Carriage Horse Emancipation and, ultimately, a full transition to socialism. (First the Che Guevara posters, next the bread line.)
De Blasio arrived at The Daily Show's midtown studios the same day that winter storm Maximus dumped more than eight inches of snow in Central Park. The weather provided occasion for de Blasio to tell Stewart about his plans for the ungrateful Upper East Siders who whined that he purposefully withheld snow plows as "payback" for their supporting other candidates.
What else could he do to punish the rich? "We have an experimental effort to get locusts in up there," de Blasio confided.
But shoveling each individual sidewalk after personally plowing every the street is getting a little old for the Mayor. "I'd like to try something else now," he said.
Over Big Gulps and sausage and mushroom pizza (Stewart instructed the mayor on the proper technique), de Blasio and Stewart moved on to more substantial policy goals. They discussed the mayor's fight with Governor Cuomo over taxing the city's rich to pay for universal Pre-K ("We need to know the money is going to be there year after year"), his administration's decision to settle lawsuits Stop and Frisk over tactics ("You can't break the law to enforce the law, as simple as that"), and his plans to free the carriage horses.
"We are in this neighborhood and I hear their plaintive cries," Stewart said.
"The waterboarding of the horses has to end," de Blasio replied. He added, "Horses do not belong in the middle of traffic in New York City. They do not belong in an urban environment like this. It's not safe for them, it's not fair when you think about what their lives should be and what our society is like."
"That brings up an interesting point," Stewart said. "Should we even be living here?"
...Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
Funny to think that in Ye Olde New Yorke our biggest issue was a tax on sliced bagels. If only! Actually, we were all fighting over the Ground Zero mosque. (Dark days, guys.) Back then, a prescient Bloomberg said the controversy would disappear after the next election. Predications like that, friends, is why they pay him the big bucks.
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