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Does This Old Rudy Giuliani Campaign Ad Make You Want Him to Father Your Children?

How did politicians get elected in the '90s? Experience? Fresh Ideas? Strength?

If this Rudy Giuliani ad from 1993 is any indication, all those took a backseat to soft lighting, a full head of hair, and polos. Lots of polos.

From the vault, this campaign spot begs you to imagine not only having Rudy as your mayor, but much, much more. In the words of second wife Donna Hanover, "This is the kind of man I want to be the father of my children."

Take it away, Donna:

But the best part? The many outfits--and hobbies--of Rudy Giuliani:

Does This Old Rudy Giuliani Campaign Ad Make You Want Him to Father Your Children?

Here, we have baseball Rudy, inexplicably playing catcher in a game involving a tee. Foolish? No, just cautious . . . exactly what you want in a mayor.

Does This Old Rudy Giuliani Campaign Ad Make You Want Him to Father Your Children?

Boat-launch Rudy represents promise and potential. It does not represent how on Earth he is going to retrieve that toy boat once it floats into the middle of the pond. Alas, that is a job for the Coast Guard, not the mayor.

Does This Old Rudy Giuliani Campaign Ad Make You Want Him to Father Your Children?

Shhh . . . Rudy is on the phone, doing business. How do you know he's doing business? Check out those sleeves, rolled up to 4.5 inches, a/k/a regulation business sleeve height.

Does This Old Rudy Giuliani Campaign Ad Make You Want Him to Father Your Children?

Here, we have "The Folgers" pose. It's called "The Folgers" because, remember, this is in 1993. If it were today, it would be "The Cialis."

Does This Old Rudy Giuliani Campaign Ad Make You Want Him to Father Your Children?

And finally, the grandest metaphor of all: New York is the baby, the bottle is full of conservative policies, and Rudy is Rudy. Not pictured: The baby's inevitable regurgitation.

See Also: - "Only in New York!" and Six Other New York Sayings That Are Completely False - Rudy Giuliani Goes AWOL After Promising to Marry Gay Friends - Rudy Giuliani Still Hates "Cranky Old Man" Ron Paul

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