Ever Cheat on Your Spouse? Then You Could Get Strip Searched!
America, fuck no!
Runnin' Scared recently brought you news of the damning 5-4 U.S. Supreme Court decision that OKs strip searches for any offense -- even something so minor as an unpaid parking ticket.
Yes, it is absurd -- and just plain wrong -- that jailers can now make inmates undergo cavity searches for a parking ticket.
And specifically in New York, there are plenty of minor offenses in the penal code that can lead to these invasive investigations.
Some of these crimes?
What's worse than getting caught cheating? Getting strip searched after getting caught cheating.
Crystal balls probably don't count as contraband, but the court's decision doesn't even require guards to suspect contraband to conduct these sketchy shakedowns.
If you've ever talked publicly about violently overthrowing the government -- or spread literature that espouses these ideas -- the state could have the right to overthrow your bodily privacy.
Criminal interference with health care services or religious worship in the second degree
Criminal Mischief in the Fourth Degree
This statute applies to most teenage shenanigans, such as busting out the windows on that creepy, abandoned building (which really doesn't seem all that strip search worthy.)
Plan on spreading wheat paste posters across the city? Then plan on spreading your cheeks for a bunch of strangers if you get caught.
Unlawfully Using Slugs (fake coins)
After the Supreme Court decision, correction guards will certainly have no trouble making sure you don't cheat the jail's laundromat.
*Some of these crimes, such as adultery, have been on the books *almost* forever and rarely get prosecuted. However, until penal code reforms take place, they're still technically viable laws.
Follow Victoria Bekiempis @vicbekiempis.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.
- New York City's Food Pantries Are Struggling to Keep Up With a Growing Demand For Meals
Sat., Nov. 28, 12:00am
Sat., Nov. 28, 12:00pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 1:30pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 7:30pm
- As Islamophobic Rhetoric Gets Louder, NYC Muslims Fear for Their Mosques
- Forget Big Chain Theaters — Watch Movies at These Cool NYC Spots Instead