Facebook Photos of NYC's Red-Hot Russian Spy, "Anna Chapman," With Captions!

So! Anna Chapman -- if that is her real name -- is supposedly some kind of Russian Spy, and the feds totally busted her and a bunch of other Russian spies yesterday. Which is crazy. I can personally attest, however, to know one thing she didn't come to America for: to bring secrets of what it's like being SEXY AND HOT AND BANGIN' IN AMERIKA back to Mother Russia. Because Anna Chapman -- if that is her real name -- is hot. Like, 'Call me when you get out of your next interrogation, I'm a nice Jewish boy who probably would've been on trial with Arthur Miller in 1957' *makes phone with hands* 'no, seriously, hollerback, lady'-hot. But is this woman TOO HOT TO BE A RUSSIAN SPY?

Seeing as how this is the Village Voice -- where we are, after all, Excessively Sexy Experts -- we found Anna Chapman's Facebook page and posted some photos, which follow this link. And we paginated the shit out of them for capital-P Pageviews. Now come along on a Red Hot photo-post of crazy-sexy Undercover New York Russian Spy photos!

 

Is that a microphone in her hair she's talking to? Or is she just always caught in stupid-hot poses?
Is that a microphone in her hair she's talking to? Or is she just always caught in stupid-hot poses?

 

She looks out over her prey, the capitalist (but more importantly, un-sexy) scum of New York City! Make Mother Russia proud, mama.
She looks out over her prey, the capitalist (but more importantly, un-sexy) scum of New York City! Make Mother Russia proud, mama.

 

Here's Chapman with a hot friend doing that thing hot girls do when they look up at the camera. Fair use in the name of overt sexiness!
Here's Chapman with a hot friend doing that thing hot girls do when they look up at the camera. Fair use in the name of overt sexiness!

 

They're like a Spice Girls of Hot Sexy Russian Spies. If they are spies. If not, she just has hot friends. I'm not even sure which one she is!
They're like a Spice Girls of Hot Sexy Russian Spies. If they are spies. If not, she just has hot friends. I'm not even sure which one she is!

 

In Soviet Russia, glamour shoot you.
In Soviet Russia, glamour shoot you.

 

That looks like something the mermaid wore in Splash. In other news, marry me. We can go spy on King Triton together.
That looks like something the mermaid wore in Splash. In other news, marry me. We can go spy on King Triton together.

 

I'm sorry, I just, I had to.
I'm sorry, I just, I had to.

 

I want to be that cigarette. John and Paul really knew what they were talking about when they told everyone they don't know how lucky they are. Because this girl is ridiculously hot, is why.
I want to be that cigarette. John and Paul really knew what they were talking about when they told everyone they don't know how lucky they are. Because this girl is ridiculously hot, is why.

 

You can even take her home to mom! Because she has friends, you see!
You can even take her home to mom! Because she has friends, you see!

 

Okay, fine, you earned it. Here's the link to the Facebook page. Go 'spy' on her, you fucking creep. I'm off...to the gym. Or something.

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