Horrifying Poll Claims You Become Your Mother at the Age of 32
"I will destroy you with my eyes."
A super-scientific Hallmark U.K. poll has declared that you will basically become your mother at the age of 32. That's horrifying enough, but even worse, according to the respondents, you'll start saying the annoying, naggy things she does, watching the soap operas and afternoon Oprah she does, and also begin "becoming overly opinionated and stockpiling on groceries." Yikes. Fortunately, these respondents have never actually met our mother, who has never stockpiled a grocery, but does possess an intense love of white wine.
This becoming your mother at the relatively young age of 32 has to do with, you got it, becoming a mother yourself! Via the New York Post,
"At 32, most women have a child or are thinking about having a child and they become what their mothers were," said behavioral expert Joachim de Posada, author of "Don't Eat the Marshmallow Yet!"
Some 40 percent of the women polled reported regularly using stock phrases favored by their moms to their own kids -- like, "Sit up straight" and "Pull your hair back."
Of course, if you live in New York City and you're 32, you're probably just starting to live your own life the way you want to, and your mother probably lives far enough away that you can do that. You have a couple of good years left, chickens, before you start instructing someone to pull their hair back. Thank God. We age slower up here.
More relevant: At what age does one begin to possess an all-encompassing love of sparkly jackets?
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