How to Pick an Ideal Skinny Dipping Spot: Location, Location, Location!
Today on the nude beat: There's a calendar/guide available that may be the perfect stocking stuffer for your nudist uncle, if you have a nudist uncle (and who, honestly, doesn't?). This gift item is called The Skinny Dipping Report, and it is described as "a calendar and guide to swimming naked in beautiful places, featuring the best amateur nude photography the Internet has to offer." The whole Internet! That is a big place.
Along with nude photography and expertly curated days of the week, the Skinny Dipping Report, which will cost you $25, also features travel tips and "the moon cycle for each month, so as to better plan skinny dipping excursions around ambient lighting." Servicey!
But we needed to know more. Why a Skinny Dipping Report? Why now? The Skinny Dipping reporters were only to happy to tell us more. "One of our aspirations in creating The Skinny Dipping Report is to foster a sense of connoisseurship around the experience of skinny dipping," they explained. "We like to think of skinny dipping as a kind of gastronomy of touch, perhaps even more than sex because of its inextricable connection to place and season. Like food, wine, beer, coffee -- or sex, for that matter -- skinny dipping is an infinitely variable experience that takes place within a defined framework. The framework is what allows for comparison and evaluation of the experience relative to experiences of the same type, while the infinite variety is what compels our continuous pursuit of an even more pleasurable version."
None of the locations are in the New York area, however, which is a situation they hope to remedy for next year: "We're taking submissions for 2013's calendar and would love an East River Skinny Dipping shot if any of your readers are up for it!"
What makes an ideal skinny dipping location? Not to worry, they shared some tips:
Sense of place: Skinny dipping is among the most literal ways that we can immerse ourselves in a place. As such, environmental factors have a tremendous impact on the experience. As our skin tells our brain about the feeling of the water, what are our other senses telling us? Is there a view? Can you hear birds? Traffic? All of these things inform our experience of skinny dipping in a particular place.
Seasonality: Inextricably linked to our experience of place is our experience of seasonality. To swim naked in the same body of water in the height of summer and again in the dead of winter obviously gives us an entirely new perspective on the place. Even in non-temperate climates, small seasonal changes can effect our perception of a skinny dipping location and these changes only add to the experience.
Accessibility: Some of the most pleasurable places to skinny dip are difficult to access and this colors the experience. Is there an element of danger, or can we swim here for hours without a care in the world? Is there some kind of physical challenge, for instance, a climb, a hike, or a plunge?
Other: In addition to these considerations, there are also factors like tone (is this a raucous, late-night, drunken group dip or a serene, solo, early morning solo dip?) and tempo (is this a fast a furious dip or a long and lazy one?) that add further nuance and color our experience of skinny dipping.
Submit your favorite skinny dipping places at www.theskinnydippingreport.com or to firstname.lastname@example.org. But, first, share with us! For professional purposes only, of course. We'll start: Our bathtub is pretty awesome. With the vent overhead open so we can hear the pigeons cooing.
Go to Runnin' Scared for all our latest news coverage.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.