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Leave It to Palin to Brighten Up Your Saturday with Dogs and Cocaine

It's been almost four years since Sarah Palin made her way onto the national stage at the Republican National Convention. But, since the defeat of her and McCain in the election, we have been gifted with the constant recurrences of the Alaskan personality. Yes, we DVR'ed Game Change, too.


At first, Palin's comedy would result in an eventual wince, knowing the chances that this woman could be sitting in the White House as we speak. 

But, at this point, we can kumbaya in the fact that she never will - even if she mentions over and over again how there is still the chance that she will... at some point... in the near future. (Send in Bristol!)

So, her comedy is now a light at the end of a dark, dark tunnel in this grim political reality. And, at the RightOnline conference yesterday - targeting the "lamestream media" and praising conservative bloggers for finding the truth - she added another tally onto her list. 

So, lay back and enjoy your Saturday with a mimosa and a solid tan while we spin you another tale in the Palin Chronicles.

Taking a page from Obama's memoir "Dreams From My Father," which fellow Voice writer Roy Edroso has pointed out as a trend amongst the right-wing blogosphere, Palin went after young Barry's past. But not as a Kenyan-born Muslim; better yet, she had enough blow and dog-eating jokes to go around:


"That cocaine snorting, and what he ate - Fido? Rufus? I think it's funny that the cocktail circuit gives me a hard time for eating elk and moose. Anybody here have a pet moose? There's a difference."

After hearing that, as we usually do with Sarah Barracuda, we have a few questions that must be attended to. And we'd like a few answers.

First, since when did journalists become associated with cocktails? That seems unfair, given the state of the economy; we prefer hard whiskey and gin drinks and PBRs, if anything.

Second, when did the media beat up Sarah over eating elk and moose? We remember the helicopter-caribou incident (or, as Slate called it, "Aerial Wolf Gunning 101") but the media didn't obsess over it that much. 

Third, this guy has a pet moose. What's wrong with that?

After she made the drug/dog comments, she went on to attack the ridiculous media attention her family has received: "I've got to have been divorced how many times? And moved to Montana, or was it the Hamptons?"

At some point during all of this, our attention moved on so we changed the channel to the re-runs of "Sarah Palin's Alaska."

[jsurico15@gmail.com/@JSuricz]


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