Valentine's Day is the most hated of holidays (well, mine anyway), but if you're going to be forced to sit through the saccharine hell of it, you might as well do it heavy-metal style. The third annual LOVE BITES V-Day show is back, with guest DJs Michael T (Motherfucker), DJ Jess (Trash!), and Raquel spinning the best of the power ballads (think Skid Row, Bon Jovi, and Journey). Live performances by Corn Mo, René Risqué, and hostest with the mostest, Cathy Cervenka of Loser's Lounge fame. Rawk. Wednesday @ 8, Don Hill's, 511 Greenwich St, 212.334.1390
If passively taking in a show isn't your style, then head to Lipp It, a karaoke/lip-synch contest extraordinaire, hosted by downtown darlings Adam Dugas and Josie Dickson. Apparently, you don't have to sing, but can lip-synch instead, thereby focusing all of your energy on the performanceso, say, the organizers, "Dancers and choreographed routines are strongly encouraged. Drag is welcome." Prizes, though unspecified, will be given out. They must be pretty good, since you have to submit the name of your act, the genre of your selection and the general description of your intended performance to firstname.lastname@example.org. Wednesday @ 11, Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette, 212.539.8778
If that is just too damn exhausting, the Wau Wau Sisters are having a V-Day-themed month-long performance. The twosome are like an all-in-one variety show, able to do acrobatic feats in a single bound, plus sing, dance, and act in crazy skits (they will, after all, do anything for love). You'll be so entertained, you won't care if you don't have a date! Saturday @ 8, the Cutting Room, 19 W 24th, 718.302.9126
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