Medical Experts: Old Age, Stress, Genes Call for Drink, Drugs

Like we keep telling our editors: "Regular Moderate Alcohol Intake Has Cognitive Benefits in Older Adults." A Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center study of 3,069 individuals over 75 years of age who were still sharp found that codgers who had eight to 14 drinks a week -- that's a few drinks every day, or one glorious binge -- "experienced an average 37 percent reduction in risk of developing dementia." But oldsters who were experiencing dementia just got worse with drinking. Well, we know who's President, what day it is, and where we left our glasses. Bottoms up!

And anyway our genes require it. A Baylor University researcher discovers "a set of genes that modulates stress responses," and that if you're drinking or taking drugs in response to stress, your set may be tuned a little too high. They're working on ways to correct that. Till then, remember, it's neither your fault nor society's, but God's.

Or you can blame the recession, especially if you're underage. The C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health finds that "40 percent of parents indicate their children ages 5-17 have some or a lot of stress as a result of worries about their family's finances." Even more parents, 53 percent, report related stress among their teenagers. The poll finds among the common stress symptoms "acting out, abdominal pain and headaches," which is exactly why we're taking this Vicodin, some of which we will share with the kid who made the drop. Again, bottoms up, and thank heaven for science. Photo (cc) Tetsumo.

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