New York Times Article About Hottie Politician Is Despairingly Lacking in the Naughty Bits

Imagine our excitement when we saw this article in the New York Times: "A Congressman's Abs Garner Yeas." I mean, yeah, it's a bit tongue-in-something, but the Times is actually acknowledging a hottie politician who has become something of a gay icon, despite maybe not actually being gay! That is to say, Representative Aaron Shock, 29, from Peoria, Illinois; you may know him from "the teal belt/gay staff listserv incident" -- and his six-pack.

We'll forgive the corny headline joke; what we won't forgive is how low on the sexy details this article turned out to be. Fool us once, New York TImes...Sure, sure, he's a good old-fashioned farm boy and he works out seven days a week; we already knew he was voted the "hottest freshman" in Congress by HuffPo readers; we didn't know that he enjoyed Huey Lewis's "Power of Love," though we're not sure that helps his cause. It's great that despite his "Norman Rockwell quaintness" he thinks "D.C. is becoming kind of a cool place to be," and that, boy, he sure has fun there enjoying new restaurants and social events. But does he like girls or guys? And where are the pics? For a minute, we thought the piece was going to give us Obama remarking upon Shock's hotness, but instead, we got this:

It was in February, when the president was trying to round up votes for his stimulus package and invited Mr. Schock to join him aboard Air Force One. Mr. Obama was giving a speech at a Caterpillar plant in Mr. Schock's home district, and publicly urged him to support the bill. The next day, Mr. Schock went ahead and voted nay, unswayed by the president.

Yawn -- er -- impressive! As for the gay-bi-or-hetero question...

Mr. Schock is single and opposed to gay marriage, and he has told reporters that he is not gay. In the interview in his office, he mentioned a former girlfriend. He also said that while he is passionate about all issues, the social ones are "not what compelled me to run for office."

Leave it to the Times to take the sex out of sex. Quick, look at these abs. They'll make you feel better.

[JDoll]


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