New York Tours Are as Diverse and Disturbing as New Yorkers Themselves

Crazy celebrity stalkers and morbid ghost-seekers unite for a two-hour tour of the city's sites of notorious deaths (Heath Ledger, Keith Haring, Sid Vicious, "Crazy Joe" Gallo, Thomas Paine, to name a bunch)! And the tour vehicle is no smiley double-decker bus -- it's a hearse (actually a 1960 Cadillac Superior Crown Royale combination hearse) driven by Drew Raphael, previously a television marketing director, who started Dead Apple Tours. We thought this tour was a shocking departure from the typical boring old NYC bus tours, but then we did a little digging and found plenty of other cracked-out New York tours that might strike your fancy.

What: Museum of the American Gangster Tours -- Choose between the Jewish Mob Walking Tour and the Birth of Organized Crime: The Mafia Tour, both explore gangster and mob history on the Lower East Side. When & How Much: Jewish Mob Walking Tour, Thur. & Fri. 6:00 p.m. and Sat. & Sun. 12:00pm, $15; Birth of Organized Crime: The Mafia Tour, every Sat. 2:00 p.m., $25 Is It Right For You? If you carry a gun, think holding up banks with flowers is for pussies, are a straight-up mob-obsessed guido or guidette, or just think American gangster history is cool (it is, actually), this is the tour for you.

What: Sex and the City Tour -- The tour bus stops at the Pleasure Chest, where Charlotte bought her "Rabbit," Magnolia Bakery for cupcakes, the church where Samantha meets "The Friar," and other recognizable SATC spots. When & How Much: Every Day (Check Site for Times), $43.99 Is It Right For You? This tour is perfect for you if a fight with your friend sounds like this, "OMG, no, you're totally Charlotte, you l-o-v-e babies and headbands." "Fine, but, you're so not skinny enough or sexually intelligent enough to be Carrie -- you're more like that annoying friend who makes people take their shoes off." Go on this tour, eat your Magnolia cupcake, and please, don't procreate, ever.

What: Ghosts of New York Walking Tour -- The tour is lead by Dr. Phil Schoenberg, a Queens College history professor who hosts several different New York ghostly jaunts (Phantom Pub Crawl, Romantic Ghosts of Greenwich Village for Singles in their 20s and 30s, etc.). When & How Much: Times and prices vary, check calendar. Is It Right For You? If you couldn't sleep after watching Are You Afraid of the Dark as an excited little kid, or if you DVR Ghost Hunters and always think things have been paranormally misplaced in your apartment, then this is your ticket, you weenie.

What: Savory Sojourns -- Marisa Tomei's adorable mother, Addie, offers culinary tours of Little Italy and Chinatown, Harlem, DUMBO, Chelsea, and a slew of other neighborhoods. When & How Much: Call Savory Sojourns at 212-691-7314 to set up a tour and for pricing information. Is It Right For You? If you're a persnickety foodie or have a crush on Marisa and want to get in with the fam, Addie customizes tours and sits down for a meal with the group.

What: Chelsea Nightclub Tour and Neighborhood Pub Crawls offered by Uncle Sam's Tours When & How Much: Chelsea Night Club Crawl, 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday nights, $75 (includes two drinks or pay $300 for a VIP ticket with a private table and unlimited drinks); Neighborhood Bar Crawls (Check site for tour schedule.), $60 per person (includes three drinks) Is It Right For You? If you love booze, fancy or dusty, as an elaborate concoction as well as in a PBR can, and if you agree New York City is the best place to booze 'til your heart's content, this company has TWO tours for you. Try not to plan them back-to-back -- a tour should never end with your head in a toilet.

Happy trails!


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