Nightmares Before Halloween 2: Jack-o-Fetuses

Christians have largely given up denouncing Halloween as the Devil's holiday, and instead seek to make it more godly with hardcore Religious Right political statements. The American Life League suggests you let those little children who come to your door seeking candy know how you stand on abortion with a "pro-life jack-o-lantern," made with a stencil they obligingly provide.

"There are many opportunities to be a voice for the voiceless," says ALL, "and most of those opportunities require us to go to a public place. But, on the eve of All Saints Day, the public comes to us!" At least this year, if never again.

If that's too radical for you, Families Online Magazine suggests other godly pumpkin carvings. "Crosses are nice," they say, "but you do not really want your front porch to look like a graveyard." For one thing, the neighbors already thought of that. Professional help is offered via Divine Carvings, which has kits to help you make angel pumpkins and whatnot. It's time somebody put the Christ back in Halloween!


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