NYC Stories: Heartbroken DJ Hopes for Hepatitis in East River Dive

It's stories like this that should make everyone thankful for New York City's thriving (culturally, not economically) two top tabloids, making every trip to the bodega a more pleasant one. This time, it's the New York Post coming through with an NYC story of love and sorrow, pleasure and pain, DJing and the East River. The best part about it is that there's absolutely no news involved in the tale -- just heart. It's like this: man gets dumped, man gets sad, man goes swimming, man ends up in newspaper.

No, seriously, that's it!

A Lower East Side deejay who had just been "ditched by a girl" spent a few hours contemplating the East River yesterday, then jumped in after a passing stranger egged him on.

Philippe Treuille told NYPD divers who fished him out that he'd "just wanted to go swimming."

The headline ("Loverboy 'dumped' into East River") makes it sound mob related, when really it's more dangerous than that -- it's love related. "I didn't go to sleep last night, and I was feeling kind of sad because I got ditched by a girl," the "bald, goateed" man tells the paper.

And of course there was an enabler present, a "passerby" encouraging this random DJ to take a swim in that disgusting water. If he didn't catch a disease, maybe the girl will take him back after this showing of devotion.

At about 8:30 a.m., he stashed his cash, cellphone, keys and shoes in a flower bed, placed his watch on a marina doorknob and dove in.

He swam from Houston Street to East 26th Street before "the current got really strong."

It's like they always say: Whatta town!

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