NYU Neighbor Cries Foul After Being Covered in Vomit and Showtunes

NYU Neighbor Cries Foul After Being Covered in Vomit and Showtunes

An anonymous Greenwich Village resident has finally had it with living among the students of NYU. He submitted a letter to Brick Underground today that addresses several of his complaints about sharing his neighborhood with kids that make him "feel like a grandpa." As a current NYU student, I'm sorry to confess that he's pretty much...right.

His best attack on his not-so-friendly neighbors is his dead-on critique of Welcome Week:

1. Every August and September, a new batch moves in, and things start going downhill after a somewhat more peaceful summer. There's more sidewalk traffic, campus tour groups, and hordes of kids going out and being obnoxious. You can always tell the out-of-towner NYU students from the New Yorkers. There's this way they dress in skanked-out polyester clothes, looking around like they're lost and hobbling on heels.

Evidence: There was a girl I knew my freshman year at NYU who other "lovely" girls referred to as "Kmart girl" because she was from Minnesota and wore mostly polyester clothes.

2. Not all New Yorkers have to deal with drunken drama students screaming show tunes at the top of their lungs at 4 a.m.... It makes me want to open a window and throw a bucket of water on them. I want to kill their dreams of stardom and watch them move back home to Montana or wherever they come from.

Evidence: Everyone at NYU hates Tisch drama kids. They love singing at completely inappropriate times and think it's part of their charm. It's not charming, it's just obnoxious.

3. I dodge [vomit] puddles a few days a week. I can't know this for sure, but I like to blame underage NYU students. I assume it's them.

Evidence: As an underage NYU student who has puked all over several New York City sidewalks (under 5 times, I promise!) I am ready to accept the blame for this one. Caveat: I have also seen a couple of 30+ year-olds ralphing outside of bars. And they're not NYU students, though they may date them.

At the end of the day, however, this resident should've realized what he was getting himself into by moving in so close to a purple flag. And, in fact, it could be worse -- he could have lived with an NYU freshman. Like the one who down the hall from me freshman year, for example, who didn't know that we had a garbage chute until halfway through second semester. His room was filled with garbage in high, stinky piles, and speaking of high, he smoked so much weed every drawer in his room was filled with Dutch guts. Needless to say, he didn't contribute to any "community residential life" atmosphere.

And this guy is complaining about vomit and street karaoke? Please, get on our disgusting level.

[mylestanzer@gmail.com] [@mylestanzer]

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