On the Docket: Burress Sentencing
Thanks to a plea deal, the former Giants wide receiver will get two years in prison followed by two more years of close supervision (to prevent him from stapling his parole forms to his forehead or running over his foot with his own car, one would imagine).
As being unfathomably stupid still isn't illegal, he should be out in about 20 months.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.