Quick Hits

Passover's coming, so here's a Pesach Rap by a "world-renowned food chemist and canola expert." Nice crib!

"Despite Bleak Economic News, 2008 Was a Positive Year for Beverage Alcohol Sales and Consumption," press-releases the Beverage Information Group. Our colleague John DeSio says, "They missed the story. Change 'despite' to 'because of' and voila!"

We thought Gerritsen Beach was paradise. But lately they've had potheads and dirt bike punks, and now someone has burned down their skate park.

Rightwing celebrity Joe the Plumber went out to agitate against card-check, and unfortunately for him someone asked him some questions.

Goodbye "Guiding Light." Sickdays just got a little less surreal.

Moral: Seducing a juror to win your son's release from prison is a recipe for Fail.

Okay, one more April Fool's Day winner: "Phillies announce 'New York Mets Day' at Citizens Bank Park."

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