Royal Wedding Forecast: RAIN!

Bad, horrible, awful, terrible news: The Telegraph reports (in almost 600 words, no less) that heavy showers are forecasted for Friday's royal wedding ceremonies in London. Stay calm, everyone; if we can just have all the commoners climb on each others' shoulders and weave themselves into some sort of fleshy canopy, this could work.

The possible storms would mean that the newlyweds would not leave Westminster Abbey in an open carriage, but instead ride in a covered one that is held on standby. At least it can't get any worse, right? Wrong!

Rain is also expected in Kate Middleton's home of Bucklebury, Berks., "where hundreds of people are expected to take part in a tea party on the village green."

Fuck!

And to prove that Mother Nature is one twisted old lady with a sick sense of humor, consider the following:

Ironically, most of the rest of the country, including western England, western Wales, the north of England, Scotland and Northern Ireland are forecast to enjoy a "bright" royal wedding day.

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It's like rain on your royal wedding day. Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Royal wedding: heavy rain forecast for big day [Telegraph]

[ngreene@villagevoice.com / @nickgreene]


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