Schizo Letter of the Day - Armageddon Alert!
Our schizo letter of the day begins with a nice touch - handwritten at the top are two lines of telling self-reflection:
Believe it or not, this article is on-target.
And now, for a sample of what follows:
To Avoid War Crimes Trials in the Coming Barack Obama Administration, Dick Cheney's Minions Plan to Explode an Atomic Bomb at the World Bankers Summit in Washington, D.C., November 14 or 15, 2008.
President George W. Bush to Die in this Blast, Vice-President Cheney to Become President, Launch World War Three, against "Traitors to Freedom," of which Cheney Himself is the Leader. Ill-Timed Nuclear War to Create an Ice Age. Jews, Persons of Color, Gays, Lesbians, Liberals, Physicians who Have Performed Abortions, Women who have had Abortions, Poor People, Prisoners, etc., to be Sent to "Killing Camps," to become Human and Dog Food. Owning a Cat to be Capital Offense...
Skipping ahead six typewritten pages...
Dick Cheney is an un-American who will rule America as a criminal psychopath. Have your astrologer create a midpoint chart, showing Dick Cheney's horoscope combined with the U.S. July 4, 1776, Philadelphia, PA 5:10 p.m. "Sibley" chart. Observe that, aside from minor aspects to two small asteroids, the composite Venus makes no aspects to any planet. Dick Cheney is the enemy of love...
And 8 madcap pages later...
Why isn't New York Senator Hillary Clinton President-elect?
Because of me.
Why didn't Al Gore become President in 2000?
Because of me.
Why did George H.W. Bush, the President's father, lose his re-election bid to Bill Clinton in 1992?
Because of me...
And just 19 more pages to go...
Creative capitalization: 5 points Astrological nuttiness: somewhat unusual, 5 points Armageddon paranoia with a politically-left slant: rare, 10 points Capital punishment for owning a cat: genius, 20 points Own role in world events: too cliche, -10 points
Total score: 30 points, better than most
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.