Scientology Sunday Funnies: RON the Encyclopedia -- Get Yours Now!
Scientologists don't really have a Sunday service. They like to say that they do, because they crave mainstream acceptance. But unless Xenu rested after six days and L. Ron Hubbard just forgot to mention it, there's no reason for Scientologists to treat Sunday any differently than every other day of coursework, detoxes, fundraising, and generally clearing the planet.
So here at the Voice, we've come up with a Scientology Sunday tradition of our own, and we call it Sunday Funnies! Our sources regularly send us Scientology's wacky and tacky fundraising mailers, and each week we choose a few of them to gaze upon, hoping that it inspires you to wax eloquent in our comments section. So here we go...
Wow! It's been nearly five years since Scientology unleashed "The Basics" on its members, requiring them to fork over hundreds of dollars (and up to several thousand for deluxe packages) in order to buy new versions of books they probably already had and that were already gathering dust on their shelves. But that scam has long faded, and it was time to come up with something else that every church member has to have, apparently. And just in time for L. Ron Hubbard's 101st birthday, here's what it is...
A tipster let us know that this new biographical encyclopedia is what would be pushed at the birthday celebrations this week. We hope the attendees brought their wallets!
We've transcribed an e-mail sent out by Bridge Publications's mail-order manager, Patrick Howson, that announces the big release. All I know is, I want a set!
I am proud to present the newly released L. Ron Hubbard Series, The Complete Biographical Encyclopedia...
This is by far the most in-depth and detailed chronology of the life of L. Ron Hubbard that has ever been made available on a broad public basis!
Even if you own some of the earlier "Ron Magazines" -- please be advised this is nothing like the earlier editions!
Just to give you an overview, the full set includes:
-- 16 Volumes -- 3,653 Pages -- 1,039 Photographs of and by LRH (220 never before published) -- 265 Personal Letter, Articles, Journal Entries and Essays -- 488 LRH Artifacts -- 241 Illustrations, Maps and Diagrams -- 75 LRH Poems and Songs -- Complete Glossaries, including Hard-to-Find Terms and Phrases
SUMMARY OF THE L. RON HUBBARD SERIES
"For nearly a quarter of a century, I have been engaged in the investigation of the fundamentals of life, the material universe and human behavior. Such an adventure leads one down many highways, through many byroads, into many back alleys of uncertainty, through many strata of life..." -- L. Ron Hubbard
The L. Ron Hubbard Series is the complete biographical encyclopedia of the life of L. Ron Hubbard and presents every aspect of an extraordinary existence.
This is Ron's life as he saw it -- through his personal diaries and journals, letters with colleagues and close friends, and through the lens of his own cameras.
Within the pages of these volumes is also the most comprehensive selection of articles and essays ever published, from writing and philosophy to aviation and seamanship -- not to mention the answers to Man's eternal questions.
Contained within are more than 1,000 images, including hundreds of never-before-published photographs of and by LRH drawn from his personal archives, which through meticulous restoration can now be seen in their original grandeur.
These volumes also feature over four hundred personal artifacts, ranging from his vast collection of cameras and photography gear, to his wide array of musical instruments and cinematography equipment, to his typewriters, flying cap and Boy Scout keepsakes.
Also included are his logs, credentials and documents in his panorama of pursuits ranging from pioneering glider pilot, mariner and Special Officer of the Los Angeles Police Department.
All in all, The L. Ron Hubbard Series is the biographical encyclopedia of LRH's life. They allow you to know Ron like never before -- as though you were there with him every stop of the adventurous journey of his life.
RON THE HORTICULTURIST
I have had the chance to read through some of these magnificent volumes and the imagery and articles are STUNNING.
There are photos of LRH and parts of his life that have never seen the light of day and are only revealed in this series.
For example, "RON THE HORTICULTURIST" is one of the volumes and it's only here do you get the full data on LRH's plant experiments from the late 50s and early 60s.
Ever wondered exactly how LRH grew those massive, over-sized tomatoes and cucumbers? This is the ONLY place you will find all the data and the answers!
NEW IMAGES OF A LIFETIME (free with your purchase of the package):
In addition to the above, a new and expanded edition of L. Ron Hubbard Images of a Lifetime has been released and comes FREE with your purchase of the package.
This stunning photographic chronology presents the intimate story of Ron's life through meticulously restored images and detailed anecdotal captions.
-- 400 pages in total -- Comes in a large 10 1/2" X 14 1/3" coffee-table size book -- Over 500 restored photos of and by LRH (many of which are rare and never before published) -- Hand-picked images selected from Ron's personal photo archive
NEW RELEASE SPECIAL!
You will receive all 16 volumes in the L. Ron Hubbard Series and if you order now, we will also include the Images of a Lifetime FREE ($125 value).
Package Price: $720
You can order on-line here
Or call me at (323) 888-6236
Available in 16 languages: English, Danish, Dutch, French, German, Greek, Hebrew, Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Norwegian, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish (Castilian), Spanish (LATAM), Swedish.
Please let me know back on this ASAP!
Sincerely, Patrick Howson Mail Order Manager Bridge Publications, Inc. (323) 888-6236
I'm really drooling over all of those new photos and artifacts. And Ron's giant tomatoes! Maybe, finally, we'll get a good explanation for why Ron thought it was a good idea to be photographed auditing a juicy red love apple...
After that big announcement we'll just post one other mailer we received this week, yet another case of Scientology giving the impression that its Ideal Org program is anything but a cynical donation scheme resulting in empty buildings. Note how the flier makes the Chicago Ideal Org look like a thriving enterprise, going day and night...
And then note the reality, which our tipster sent along with the flier. Here's Ideal Org's front door on a typical day...
We're told that the Chicago building was purchased in 2006 and has been sitting empty ever since. But still! It's expansion! It's exciting! Can you catch the fever! Donate today!
Time for you to sound off in our comments section. And whatever you do, come back tomorrow morning, when we're going to have a really big story that should rock your world...
********** Tony Ortega has been the editor in chief of the Village Voice since March, 2007. He started writing about Scientology in 1995. You can reach him by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org, and if you ask nicely he'll put you on his mailing list for notifications of new stories, which tend to come out each and every morning at 8 am, but can suddenly appear at any time of the day. You can also catch his alerts at Twitter (@VoiceTonyO), at his Facebook author page, on Pinterest, a Tumblr, and even this new Google Plus doohickey.
New readers might want to check out our primer, "What is Scientology?" Another good overview is our series from last summer, "Top 25 People Crippling Scientology." At the top of every story, you'll see the "Scientology" category which, if you click on it, will bring up all of our most recent stories. As for our regular features, on Thursdays we do a roundup of world press, on Fridays we visit L. Ron Hubbard on the yacht Apollo circa 1969-1971, on Saturdays we celebrate the week's best comments, and on Sundays we publish Scientology's wacky and tacky advertising mailers that people send us.
As for hot subjects we've covered here, you may have heard about Debbie Cook, the former church official who rebelled and is now being sued by Scientology. You might have also heard about the Super Power Building, Scientology's "Mecca," whose secrets were revealed here. We also reported how Scientology spied on its own most precious object, Tom Cruise. (We wrote Tom an open letter that he has yet to respond to.) Have you seen a Scientology ad on TV lately? We debunked some of the claims in that 2-minute commercial you might have seen while watching Glee or American Idol.
Other stories have looked at Scientology's policy of "disconnection" that is tearing families apart. You may also have heard something about the Sea Org experiences of the Paris sisters, Valeska and Melissa, and their friend Ramana Dienes-Browning. We've also featured Paulette Cooper, who wrote about Scientology back in the day, and Janet Reitman, Hugh Urban, and the team at the Tampa Bay Times, who write about it today. And there's plenty more coming.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.
- New York City's Food Pantries Are Struggling to Keep Up With a Growing Demand For Meals
Sat., Nov. 28, 12:00am
Sat., Nov. 28, 12:00pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 1:30pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 7:30pm
- As Islamophobic Rhetoric Gets Louder, NYC Muslims Fear for Their Mosques
- Forget Big Chain Theaters — Watch Movies at These Cool NYC Spots Instead