Sign of the Apocalypse: Unemployed Turn to DJing

So far the New Depression's been a lotta laughs, but now we have to worry about collateral damage, because it's not just the unemployed but also innocent clubgoers who are suffering: the Times tells us about DJ lessons for the newly jobless. "I used to spin records 30 years ago," says one 51-year-old hopeful; a middle-aged former "account executive for a television network," and "just to know that I'll be getting some form of payment to do something I really love is a great start." Cut to Howard Beale screaming "This is mass madness!" It's like a small-scale recreation of the past ten-fifteen years, when we were all supposed to get rich selling each other stocks, repackaged debt, knowledge management systems, and granite tabletops. Imagine a small town with 300 DJs and just two clubs, its farms full of dying crops and spavined cattle because everyone wants to be a DJ not a farmer, its garbage piled up and rotting in the streets because everyone wants to be a DJ not a garbageman, etc, and you'll see where this is going.

If money has become or is becoming an issue for you, do not invest in DJ lessons, nor toe nor tap dancing lessons, nor acting nor stand-up nor most especially writing, which is the one thing every defenestrated banker or broker thinks he or she thinks she can already do because they composed some emails in between team-building weekends and drinking contests. The real growth business over the next two years will be Paid Assassin. It takes some nerve and a tedious devotion to detail, but the pay and hours are great, and you get to travel.Photo (cc) PresleyJesus.


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