TABLOIDED

I told you yesterday that we’d have a week of this Giants “team of destiny” stuff, and lo and behold, the Post yet again puts the Jessica Simpson “look-a-like” on its front page and features a story about how the paper brought 21-year-old Washington nanny Lynsey Nordstrom to Times Square. Naturally, she was recognized and given credit for the win by passersby.

Our new hero Eli Manning (how quickly we forget how his name was followed by “throws an interception” through much of the season) graces the front of the Daily News, which has declared the Giants THE TEAM WE ALL NEEDED. Mike Lupica has a full page on how the Giants are the feel-good sports story New York needs right now, accompanied by a photo of a pained Michael Strahan who, according to the caption, is “celebrating.” Four more days of this, people, four more days. And yes, I realize the hypocrisy of leading with this story two days in a row.

Maybe we need these kind of “feel-good” stories because the financial news these days is so depressing. The News proclaims AMERICA FOR SALE, as several U.S. corporations are looking for and have found financial bailouts from foreign sources: Citigroup from the Abu Dhabi and Kuwait Investment Authorities; Merrill Lynch from Singapore, the aforementioned Kuwait Investment Authority, Korean Investment Corp. and Japan’s Mizuho Financial Group; Morgan Stanley from China Investment Group and Bear Sterns from China’s Citic Securities Co.

TABLOIDED

One person not too worried about her financial state is Oprah Winfrey, who is getting her OWN network, the Oprah Winfrey Network. (Yes, sometimes the headlines write themselves, but that doesn’t mean that the News needs to go for the easy pun.)

The Post also notes the monetary doom-and-gloom, devoting part of page 1 to the 277-point decline by the Dow Jones Industrial Average yesterday. This, of course, happened on “FALL ST.” Experts fear this is the beginning of a recession.

But don’t worry, because the most important event in our fair city yesterday (at least according to its placement on the Post’s front page) is that the “Yankee” portion of the new Yankee Stadium was installed.

Now that we’ve got the front page out of the way, let’s get to the yellow underbelly of today’s tabs. Page 4 of the Post features an article condemning Sunday’s New York Times front-page story about veterans committing murder upon their return from Iraq and Afghanistan. Andy Soltis’s story quotes conservative blogs and pro-troop groups. The icing on the cake is the picture of Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. with a black eye.

That’s not even the most WTF? piece of artwork on page 4. That belongs to an incredibly bizarre photo of President Bush and Saudi Prince Salman Bin Abdul Aziz linking arms and smiling all while Bush is wielding a saber. The companion AP story discusses Bush’s attempt to get OPEC nations to put more oil on the market. What was that the Daily News was saying about foreign bailouts?

There was a Democratic debate last night and a primary election yesterday, so that means we get some of our favorite hideous politician photos. Hillary Clinton looks bitchy and Barack Obama looks bored in respective photos from the Daily News and the Post. (Meanwhile, why is Anne Romney sniffing her husband’s armpit during his victory speech in Michigan? OK, she’s not really, but that picture in the News is strange .)

There are times, however, when the tabs get it right, albeit with a sensational bent. I have a feeling the Daily News is going to continue to be all over the Trump SoHo collapse. Five reporters worked on today’s page-5 piece on work stopping at the site and the substandard supports that were in place on the floors that collapsed. Also included are more exclusive photos of the collapse, including a terrifying one of worker Francesco Palizzotto trapped in a safety net, covered in concret. Palizzotto is still in the hospital. Construction worker Yurly Vanchytsky fell 42 stories to his death in the collapse. The Post also put five reporters on the story, but put the article back to page 16.

Odds and Ends Puntastic Headlines My favorites are the ones that are somewhat subtle (“subtle” being a relative term in tabloidland). The Daily News’s “Profits of doom: He makes fortune on foreclosures” is a perfect example. Almost as good is the Post’s “Feds havent’ got a beef with cloned meat.” Is it a coincidence that both are on the bottom of page 3 of their respective papers?

Exclusives The News wins today’s round, with an exclusive interview with Al Sharpton about the debates, a piece on MTA budget woes for the Downtown transit center (which was supposed to be completed last month), and a feature on family members of fallen firefighters who will graduate from the Fire Academy today.

Tragedies Both the Post and the News cover the van accident in Vermont that left a Stuyvesant High School athlete paralyzed. The News shouts, “HORROR ON THE HIGHWAY.” Classy. The Post features a story that includes excerpts of the 911 call made by one of the victims of last month’s San Francisco Zoo tiger escape.

The next Weekend at Bernie’s? Both tabs have the story on a construction worker suing a hospital for giving him a rectal exam, but the News’ Jose Martinez deserves recognition for this lead: “A visit to the hospital for a bump to the head turned into a big pain in the posterior for a Brooklyn construction worker.”


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >