The Epic A to Z Guide of Expressions That Should Be Retired From the Internet (and IRL)
There are times in the great big blogoverse in which we are faced with the fact that certain things we have been doing are somewhat or hugely annoying. Upon that discovery, we generally continue to do those things, but with a nagging feeling of guilt and self-doubt that only continues to grow in intensity until we can't stand it any longer and throw up our hands and shout, "Make it stop!" And then, we blame everyone else, because they made us do it.
In a similar vein, and because it's Monday, here is a hand-crafted artisanal guide of commonly used words and phrases that we can take no longer, whether online or outside the confines of an internet connection. Mostly we hate them because they are overused, lazy, cliched, boring, deplorably cutesy, or could be better put another way. Other times we hate them because, well, frankly, haters gonna hate. Read on, after the jump.
Numbers and symbols @
A adksjlfsjflka;djkfl;a (and any variation of such) Always Be _____ ; AB_ amazeballs artisanal awesomesauce
B bandwidth bloggerati blowcaine breaking! bucket list
C chillaxin' cougar CrackBerry crowdsourcing, as in "We crowdsourced this listicle." curated "We curated it, too!"
D D-bag dayum "Dear _________ please stop __________ sincerely _______" d00dz (what the fuck is this, even? Oh.)
E e-____ (e-anything as a cutesy way of saying it is online is simply horrid. Horrid.) epic
F fail fail, epic; a/k/a EPIC FAIL fail whale FTW fuck you, you fuckin' fuck FWIW
G gasm "go viral" (yuck) guru
H hate hate follow haterade haters gonna hate hipster hive mind humble brag (Fact: the humble brag simply functions as a braggier, inside-baseball version of the traditional brag. Avoid it at all costs.)
I I can haz _____ IDK I haz a ____ inside baseball Internets, the Internetz, the IRL
J jam, as in "this is my jam"
K kewl killing it
make it stop (make it stop!) meh meme meta
N #nerdprom "new media" next level nom (and any variations thereof -- if you really make that noise while you eat, you should be banned from the public, unless you are an adorable animal.) NSFW
O O hai Occupy ___ (FWIW: your joke is probably not funny) OMG ON IT (We The Times Is On It, we just don't heart the expression).
P ping me planking
Q Qwikster (RIP)
R rahr (accompanied by clawed hand gesture; see also "cougar") relevant to my interests "retweets are not endorsements" ripped from the headlines ROFLMAO
S sadz SHOCKING! shots fired! SMH SMDH Snovember (just you wait!) Snowtober swaaaag swag; also, #swag
T THIS: or This! (followed by retweet/link/quote) this is why we can't have nice things too soon totes trending tweeps
U unsee, as in, "I cannot unsee this."
V vacay vajazzle vindicated!
W wait for it... webinar weaksauce win winners winning, especially "winning the internet(s/z)" wow...just wow
X Xoxoxoxoxoxo (and any variation thereof) X-treme
Y Ya rly Y U No? You're doing it WRONG
Z ZOMG (!!!!)
Disclaimer: We cannot be held accountable for which of these words and phrases we may continue to use now and again, because, while knowing is half the battle, it's time in the market that really matters.
If you feel we missed something, get in touch.
Special thanks to our friends and frenemies who added to this list, especially the following: @BuzzFeed, @ChristRobbins, @Pixie_Casey, @CeeLew, @buckyturco, @mylestanzer, @frantaclaus, @maura, @ohrohin, @arisayswhat, @nickgreene, @_rosiegray.
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