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The Westboro Baptist Church Is Coming to New York To Yell About Duck Dynasty, St. Patrick's Cathedral

It's been a little while since the Westboro Baptist Church made it all the way up to New York. The Topeka-based church/family/professional lawsuit-filing operation has been busy elsewhere, picketing funerals, football games, and whatever else might give them two seconds of attention from the larger culture. One of the last times they were in New York was to picket an LGBT synagogue in 2011, thus wiping both gays and Jews from the face of the city. (Our office has been very quiet ever since.) They came back later that year to protest same-sex marriage, another social movement that just hasn't picked up any steam.

But it appears the church has been drawn northwards once again by the Duck Dynasty debacle. After Phil Robertson, the star of the "reality" show, was briefly suspended last week for telling GQ that homosexuals are "illogical" and black folks were "singing and happy" during the Jim Crow era, Westboro stepped up to show their confusing, hate-tinged brand of support.

On December 19, both the Westboro clan and Quran-burning Florida pastor Terry Jones attacked the network for suspending Robertson, with Westboro even changing the sign on their church:

But Westboro hastened to add that they don't support Robertson or Duck Dynasty, just the part where he trashed the gays. As Shirley Phelps-Roper, de facto spokesperson for the group, told a confused Twitter follower:

They even put together several Vines to convey their complicated feelings on Duck Dynasty, including this one, reenacting how they think the contract negotiations went down between Robertson and A&E executives:

Oscar-worthy.

Despite their ambivalence about the Robertsons, Westboro announced their plans to head to New York on February 1 to picket in front of A&E's headquarters. But they also had a contingency plan for when Robertson was inevitably un-suspended, as he was on December 27, writing on their picket schedule homepage:

Of course, don't be surprised when everyone makes nice, and the show goes forward, because after all, it's all about the money, and this show is a money maker! So here's what we at WBC have to say about all this: Duck Dynasty Phil is right; Sodomy is a sin! Duh! Any dummy can crack a Bible and see the plain words about that matter. However, we also say this: the Phil Robertson's of this wicked generation are the very reason that fags run this nation, and that she is hurtling toward her destruction at the hands of a raging mad God.

So, basically, Westboro is coming no matter what. And while they're here, they'll be stopping by St. Patrick's Cathedral from 5 to 5:30 on the same day, because it is, in their words, a "roman catholic whorehouse." They add, "St. Patrick's Cathedral has millions of visitors a year. Each and every one of those visitors is to blame for every child that gets molested."

Sounds like a delightful day out. Remind us to be somewhere else entirely.


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