Time Traveler's Wife: Top Five Alternatives to Possible Cell Phone Use

Considering the whole world has recently gone on an extraterrestrial binge, it's only natural the next step would be time-traveling. While watching an extended scene of the 1928 Charlie Chaplin film The Circus, George Clarke, an Irish filmmaker, discovered what he believes to be an account of time travel. What seems to be a woman holding a cell phone appears around 2:45. See for yourself:

While we'd like to believe the UFOs are finally coming to take away the loonies (ahem, Carl Paladino), this whole Back to the Future/Time Traveler's Wife stuff has us wondering: If this chick wasn't, in fact, holding a cell phone yakking to her bestie about the one-too-many martinis she had last night, what was she doing?

1. Scratching her face: A perfectly possible action, perhaps she needed to relieve an itch on her cheek or chin for an extended amount of time.

2. Adjusting her wool hat: Even on a slightly breezy day, any dignified lady might feel the need to maneuver the hair beneath a cap.

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3. Politely picking her nose: Don't be sexist -- even women have boogers.

4. Pulling a Lady GaGa: Maybe she didn't want her face captured on camera. Maybe, instead of telekinesis, she had telepathic powers and knew she would end up on the national news networks someday.

5. Nursing a migraine: Common knowledge tells us pressure points can relieve minor head pain. She may have been self-medicating while waiting for a break from filming so she could down a few shots of brandy and call it a day.

But more important than the question of whether she time traveled and brought a cell phone back to a Charlie Chaplin movie is the question of...why not Bluetooth? If you're going to go to the future, go to the future.

[atimm@villagevoice.com]


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