Turtles Continue Nature's War on New York at JFK

Shades of Night of the Lepus and Frogs! As if the recent incursions of bedbugs, bobcats, geese, wild parrots, and cows (and, in the suburbs, killer chimps, wallaroos, and panthers) weren't bad enough, now we must face the wrath of the turtles. An amphibious attack of 78 diamondback terrapins hit the runways at JFK yesterday. The cover story is that they emerged in search of spawning grounds, but this strikes us as whistling in the dark. Mother Nature is clearly sick of us, and decrees that we have got to get ourselves back to the garden. Even the climate change bill will not assuage her. Best forget about all these foolish social and political solutions, and acquire some overalls, beartraps, and a scythe.

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