What Happens When You Call Barack Obama a Pussy? You Get Banned. From America.

You're British? You wanna call our president a "pussy"? Guess what: You're the pussy. Not only that, but we'll ban you. From America.

So goes the message inconspicuously named Limey teenager "Luke Angel" received from the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security, which is apparently busy securing our borders from bored British pansy teenagers on the Internet who dare call us or our president "pussies." SkyNews in Foggy London Town (or wherever they are) reports:

Luke Angel was reprimanded by police on both sides of the Atlantic after firing off a drunken message to the White House calling the president a "p****". The FBI intercepted the message and contacted police in the U.K. who went to see the 17-year-old at his home in Silsoe, Bedfordshire. Luke, a college student, is now on a list of people who are banned from visiting the States. A Bedfordshire Police spokesman said: "The individual sent an email to the White House full of abusive and threatening language. "We were informed by the Metropolitan Police and went to see him. He said, 'Oh dear, it was me'."

What kind of pussy says "oh, dear," huh? The BRITISH KIND, that's who. Go drink some tea. Have some crumpets. Don't forget to take the Tube on your way back to pussyland. Because you're obviously not going to be visiting the United States of Fuck You In Your Email Inbox anytime soon. Pussy.

Related: "Burning a Koran Now Officially a Categorical Threat to American Safety."

[fkamer@villagevoice.com]


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