Why I Needed Brad and Jennifer!
I'm crushed about the dissolution of Brennifer (or Bradiffer, if you prefer). I needed them. They were my gossip Gibraltar. I needed to believe in something and they held out the promise of romantic foreverness and conjoined immortality. In the transient world of show biz relations, they broke the rules and beat the odds, keeping Brad away from us but soothing that cruel blow by giving us what seemed like a case of Hollywood-hitching without a hitch. As both Bennifer and Brason (Britney and Jason) went splitsville, the world continually turned to Brennifer for contrast and reassurance. They were goldenthe grown-up version of all those wildly popular football-captain-head-cheerleader duos we loved to hate (and lived in deep-seated envy of) in high school. Those cafeteria couples ended up fat and frustratedthank Godbut Brennifer seemed to have found fulfillment and momentum, while their looks managed to subtly improve. He's always been scruffily anti-celebrity but full of accessible charm, while she seems whinily likable and adorably self-deprecating. They were pleasantly oxymoronic similar oppositesthe same but differentand whatever the attraction, they clicked and we submitted.
Now all that's left are Brevin (Britney and Kevin) and Paulanne (Paul and Joanne), and Angelina will probably break them up too. I adore Brad and am praying that the Disney version of the breakup (he wanted to make babies, she wanted to make movies) is the real deal, though I feel that even if he didn't do the nasty with Angelina, he might as well have. Everyone thinks he did anyway.
But am I the only one who feels that Gwynethwho still seems to harbor feelings for Bradmight eventually reconnect with him and have a kid named Peach Pitt? Hello?
By Michael Musto
Musto Web Extra will appear in NYC Life every Thursday
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Village Voice's biggest stories.