Windows 8: A Guide
Last week, journalists and software designers were treated to a preview of Microsoft's latest operating system: Windows 8. The preview was held at Microsoft's Build conference in Anaheim, and those in attendance report a wildly different Windows. CNN calls it "radical" and CNET says it will be "tough to beat." It probably won't be released until 2012, so details and specifics are still vague. Despite our limited knowledge, we'll tell you what we know and what we assume Windows 8 will be all about.
What we know: Windows 8 will be optimized for touch screen devices as well as traditional desktops. Until now, most devices came packaged with a hardware-specific OS. Windows 8 lets you toggle between the two.
What we assume: Touch screens will become quickly outdated, as human hands look to be improved upon by Apple in 2013. Rumors persist that the iHand will feature seven thumbs, fingerprint shuffle, and a masturbation app designed by the makers of Angry Birds.
What we know: Windows 8 is engineered to work on computer processers that use very little power. New chips manufactured by Qualcomm, Samsung, and Texas Instruments operate on a fraction of the energy older processors use.
What we assume: While the CPUs will be green, the keyboards will run on a diesel generator originally manufactured for Soviet disaster shelters.
What we know: Windows 8 will use less memory than its predecessor, Windows 7. Computers that are thought to be outdated will be able to use the newer OS relatively well.
What we assume: This is a ploy to get you to use older and older computers until you assume you are back in 1995, when Microsoft was more successful than Apple.
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